Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things. Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  Should you visit Chez Murphy today, you'd mistake it for Old Mother Hubbard's house.

2.  Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if moths started flying out of my cupboards.

3.  You know what that means.  I must troll the Walmarts and fight the crowds.  In the rain.  With my kids.  Which is almost as fun as going to the Post Office during my lunch break with my two kids.  And they have to pee. 

4.  Did you know I have high blood pressure?  I'll bet you'll never guess why.  *banging head on desk*

5.  It's supposed to storm all.weekend.long.  I know.  I'm jumping up and down with joy.  *blink blink*  Ok, I'm only jumping on the inside. 

6.  That reminds me of this song:

7.  I certainly can't stop the rain.  Even when it sounds like a tomato outside.  You like how I did that?  Self plugging?  Or is that self pimping...

8.  Did you know I live on a farm?  With animals which eat and poop all around my house?  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes vultures pick apart the carcasses.  Sometimes my father in law brings home offerrings for my children to examine.  Like this:

9.  Yes, that's vertabrae.  No, I don't understand why he thought it'd look nice on our doorstep.  Yes, I think it's gross.  Yes, I plan on moving it.  No, I don't want to touch it. 

10.  I'm wearing a skirt today.  And somehow, I'm wearing it ala Steve Urkel.  It works.

11.  Mother's Day is right around the corner.  I asked for this:

12.  It's a market basket.  Yes, I'm serious.  Yes, it is too cool. 

13.  Also, I want a nap for Mother's Day.  And to walk through the room without stepping on dirty clothes.  Just ...for one... day.  *dreaming the dream*

14.  Oh man.  I just realized I forgot my slip.  The Steve Urkel method of skirt wearing needs tweaking.

15.  Currently, I'm listening to the socially defunct but still easy to use music playlist on Myspace.  If you're like my Hubs, you're shaking your head at me and thinking I'm so behind the times. You're probably right, which is why I threw in the Steve Urkel reference earlier.  And I wear my hair like I did 10 years ago.  And makeup like I did when I was 13.  Move along, the wreck doesn't get any better.  Anyways, so I'm listening to the song "I Ran". 

16.  I can't remember the last time I ran.  Seriously.  I mean, I courtesy jog sometimes, but like for-real-arms-pumping-feet-pounding ran?  I must've been like, 12. 

17.  Also, I'm contemplating new hairstyle.  Perhaps I should glean from the Flock of Seagulls. 

18.  All you young folk haven't a clue what I'm talking about.  Or my Hubs.  Just like The Dark Crystal.  *shakes head in sadness*

19.  Now I'm listening to the Safety Dance.  I don't know anyone who's done this dance.  Except for folks on drugs maybe.  Or crossing guards.

20.  *crosses eyeballs* Man, I sure am glad I grew up in the 80's.

Happy Friday.  Everybody Safety Dance.  And watch out for the rain.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Top 3 Things Thursday

It's Thursday! It's Thursday!  Man I need some caffeine. 

So, it's that wonderful time of the week when the lovely ladies at Confessions from a Working Mom and The (Un)Expected Mom host this fun blog carnival called:

And today's question is:

If you could be a character in any movie, not the actor or actress but the character, who would it be and which movie?

3.  Aughra from The Dark Crystal

Don't be hatin.  She's awesome! 
She's only got one eyeball that she can totes pop out and look around,
 she held the shards to heal the Crystal, she grunts when she talks...
you gotta love her! 

And if you've never watched The Dark Crystal, we might have to break up.  I'm just sayin.
Booshay booshay booshay**

2.  Velma from Scooby Doo

I could only dream of having crime solving abilities like that stylin orangy gal, Velma.
Seriously, she was the brains of the operation. 
And...I kind of look like her.

1.  Janice from The Muppets

She's my faaaaave.

And we're totally alike.

Except I'm not thin and blond.

Or play the guitar.

And I open my eyes.  A lot. 

Ok, folks.  Your turn.  Which three characters would you choose to be? 

** Totally just used a Dark Crystal reference, which if you were cool, you would know that.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Tales from my hairy life

Folks, have you ever stood in front of your mirror, staring at your face?  We're such a hairy people.  It's no wonder aliens abduct us.  I'll bet they knock us out, drag us to their examination rooms on their ships and then just stroke our eyebrows and pluck our nostril hairs in awe.  I bet they're super jealous.

I groomed myself this morning, plucking stray brow hairs and trimming nose hairs.  I was too scared to tackle the mustache though.  And whilst I stood tilting my face side to side, checking out my nose forrest, I got to remembering this post...

My latest dream

Welcome to the Jay Conan O’Lettermanaleno show! With special guest- Kearsie who wrote the book How I Became An Expert In Nostril Hair!

Applause and cat calling as I take my seat. I wave to my fan club on the right.

“So Kearsie, this is your book all about how you became an expert in nostril hair. Congratulations! I’ve read it and I must say, I am impressed!”

“Thanks, Mr. O’Lettermanaleno.”

“Please, call me J.C.”

“Ok, thanks, J.C.”

“So tell us about how this book came to be.”

“Well, there just wasn’t much out there that talked about how to have great nostril hair and one day, staring at the copious nose hair sprouting from my nose, I just decided to take matters into my own hands.”

Audience hoots in appreciation.

“And folks, let me just say, if you can’t see Kearsie’s nostrils from where you’re sitting, you are missing a real treat. They are gorgeous! Ray, can we get a close up?”

Audience ooohs as they see my nostrils up close.

I blush.

"Now Kearsie, please tell us, did you always have success at getting perfect nostril hair? I imagine that’d be a difficult skill to develop.”

“Yes, J.C. my journey to perfect nostril hair has been long and hairy.”

Audience laughs at my pun.

“In fact, you can read about the time I tried using kitchen shears to trim my nose and ahahahaahah accidentally clipped my right nostril! Or the time I used tweezers and was crying by the time I was finished. Or HAHAHAHAH the time I accidentally poked tiny nail scissors into my brain! Phew! that’s a good one.”

Jay Conan O’Lettermanaleno shakes his head in admiration at my words.

“So folks, head out to your nearest Barnes-a-Million and pick up a copy of How I Became An Expert In Nostril Hair!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Happiness is...

Going through old scrapbooks and your kids loving every second.

This pic is from a page in my youngest daughter's scrapbook. 
Addie had a Monkey birthday when she turned two.
And I made a Monkey Head Cake.
That scared the kids when I hacked into it with a giant knife.
Good times...good times.

This post is in conjunction with Leigh vs. Laundry and the Happiness Project.


You've got something that makes you happy?  Post a pic and link up with Leigh!

Monday, April 26, 2010


Oh yeah?  Well then... I QUIT!!
-Things the Queen would never say

Friday, April 23, 2010

Keyboard Confessions - the allergy edition

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  I have a green car.  Underneath all the pollen the paint is green too.

2.  It's not rained in forever. In honor of that, I'm selecting this week's offering to The Transient Pod's Get Your Freak On:


3.  I need me a lava lamp, I think.

4.  Guess what? It's super hard to remove dark purple nail polish. 

5.  Also hard is putting on green eyeshadow. 

6.  Why do I try, folks?  Seriously.  Because purple skin and walking around looking like I just got a black eye is so not the look I'm going for.

7.  Neither is looking like muffins and bagels and other pastry items are spilling over my jeans, but that's another post for another day.

8.  A special birthday shout out to my friend Connie!!!  Also, whenever I see a black glove I'll think of you, just after the creeped out feelings disappear.  Because I'm still creeped out by the black glove.

9.  Speaking of creeped out, lemme tell ya'll about this phone call I got yesterday at work:

Phone rings
Me:  Good morning, Importanty Lawyer's Office.
Creepy Guy:  Who am I speaking with?
Me:  This is Kearsie
CG:  What a beautiful voice you have!
Me:  ....Um, thanks?
CG:  Are you as pretty as your voice?
Me:  ...Um, I dunno?
CG:  I suppose it's a matter of opinion.  Answer me one question, do you have long hair or short hair?
Me:  ...Um, does it matter?
CG:  *click*
Me:  *skeezed out*

10.  Yes I washed my hands, eyes and ears after that disgusting conversation. 

Cutting it short today, hoping for rain, and a lava lamp. 

Happy weekend.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

My month of awesomeness, or how people show me the love

It all started a few weeks ago.  See, I got this package in the mail from my Alaskan friend, Rochelle.  She'd been busy, you see, making a little sumpin sumpin for Edward Doll. 

It's a blanket! That she crocheted! 

She even thoughtfully made it to match his scarf!  Edward, of course, loves it and plans to curl up on the Barbie couch watching LOST reruns again.

I laughed and laughed when I opened the package.  My husband, I think, was just worried that now other people were making things for Edward.  I, apparently, am a bad influence.  Like MTV. 

Then a few days later, my Memphis friend, Angie was headed to St. Louis.  I jokingly asked her to pick me up one of those souvenir spoons.  (I used to collect them as a kid.  I had rack(s).  Notice the plural.)

AND SHE DID!!  Not only did she find me an amazing spoon, she sent spoons she found at her aunt's house!  hahaahhaahha! Still laughing about this.  Also, I might need to get me another rack.

Then my other Alaskan pal, Miss Fit, sent me something that I seriously almost died over. 

Hilarious!  Death by laughter. Also, I wonder if The Queen feels offended that pantyhose totally stole her title for a size?

AND THEN Jenny on the Spot sent me this sparkly awesome package!

Ask me what my Hubs thought of the Twilight candies.  Also, what you don't know is that this is the FOURTH Twilight candy I've received in the mail THIS YEAR.  He thinks it's a sickness.  It's a fever.  And the only cure is MORE TWILIGHT CANDY. 

Also, my sweet friend Jenny LOOOOVES glitter and hairspray.  So, don't you know that this weekend, I shall be dressing up me and my girls to head to the Walmarts trolling the aisles for pretzels and toilet papers looking sparkly and rock star.  Because that's what we are. 

Do I have the most amazing friends ever?  Yes I do. Feel free to feel jealous.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out Thingy

Every Wednesday, my buddy and pal, Shell, hosts a blog thingy about pouring your heart out.  I normally go for drivel like boogers and craft talk.  However, due to a recent conversation with my Hubs, he inspired me to pour out anyways.  So here goes.

I want to smack the Proverbs 31 lady.

I know what you're thinking, because I'm like, 81% psychic.

Some of you are gasping, making signs of the cross and misspelling my name on your prayer list.  Pray away, good soul.  Pray.  Go ahead.  I dare you.

Some of you are mad. How dare I besmirch the good name of the P31 lady!  Move along to my blogroll for other readings if you can't handle the heat.

Some of you are scratching your armpit head in confusification.  "Proverbs 31 lady? Who the heck is that?" you ask.  Well, let me just clue you confusified folks in. 

See, there's this book, right?  It's called the Holy Bible.  Yeah,  it's a great book.  You should check it out.  I just lost some of you.  That's ok.  Moving on.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, so, the Bible.  It has this book called Proverbs.  Almost smack in the middle.  It's full of great wisdomy things.  And the last chapter is this set of accolades for this imaginary woman, affectionately referred to as "The Proverbs 31 Woman".

And I hate her.

Well, I don't hate her hate her, just really really want to punch her hate her.  Much like my acne.

"Where is all this venom coming from?" you ask?  

It's because the P31 lady-she's perfect. 

And I'm not.  I'm sooooo not.

Last night, I flopped on the bed in a PMS rumpled bundle and stared moodily out the window.  My Hubs set down his book and peered inquiringly over at me.  "What's up?" he asked.  I shrugged with one shoulder.  Thankfully, my Hubs knows me enough to know that the one shoulder shrug is fraught with meaning.

Ever get down, folks?  Ever compare yourself to others and find yourself lacking?  Ever feel like the day was a study in failure?  Well I'm having one of those years weeks.  It could be the surge of  hormones interweaving their tentacles of acidic perception into every pore of my body.  Or it could be that I just really suck.

Back to the Proverbs 31 woman. 

So she's this great woman, right?  This is what the passage says, summed up: 

She's worth more than rubies, she doesn't do her husband any harm, she spins wool with eager hands, gets up at the buttcrack of dawn to make her family breakfast, she varies her cuisine meaning no boxed Mac & Cheese for her kids, she saves her spare change to purchase a stupid field and grow things on it, she's a nightowl as well as able to get up early and while she's up at night she's sewing and making crap to trade blah blah, she gives to the poor, she doesn't expect her husband to work at home because he's all busy in the town doing his man thing and willingly puts his socks in the hamper and takes out the trash, she's not afraid of the future and doesn't worry blah blah, she's not lazy and doesn't choose to watch LOST instead of reading with her kids blah blah....ARGGGG!! I JUST CAN'T STAND HER!!!

Deep cleansing breath.

Sorry.  Got a bit carried away there. 

You see, I'm never going to measure up to this lady.  This is my life:

*I'm always going to shop at Walmart.  Sometimes I'll use coupons, but sometimes they're expired or I forgot them at home.

*When LOST is on, I'm not going to want to read a book, play a game or dress a Barbie.  It's only on for this season and then I can go back to being at everyone's beck and call.

*I'm not a good cook.  I'm trying.  But some nights are going to be boring.  Some nights I'm just going to order in because I'm tired.

*I'm never going to be happy picking up everyone else's socks.  Whilst I work full time, I feel this is acceptable.

*Some days, I worry about our finances.  The future is ever changing and murky. 

*I sew, but sometimes it's crap.  Crap I can't sell.

*I can't grow plant life.  I can barely sustain life for my kids.  Although, so far, they are alive and healthy.  Miracles, they happen.

*I have no business sense.  Hence why no etsy shop yet.  I make and give.  I do not accrue monies. 

*I'm not a morning person.  Never have been.  Probably never will be.

*My elliptical is always going to go unused the majority of the time. 

*I only have so many hours in my day to get crap done and sometimes, I'm going to say to heck with it all and read a book instead. 

I'm never ever going to be this woman who gets it all done.  I'm never going to be a size (insert model size here).  I'm never going to be a famousy chef.  I'm never going to make it rich because I know how to weild a needle and thread.

I'm just me.  Flawed.  Ill-equipped.  Short-tempered and sometimes unkind.

So there it is, folks.  Me pouring my heart out.   

Anyone out there relate?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Happiness is...

...passing out dollar bills like I'm at a strip club.

This picture is my daughter, Addie, who lost her first tooth,
which escalated her to the official BIG KID status. 

 Lean in a little closer and you'll hear me crying.

This is in conjuncture with The Happiness Project put on by Leigh vs. Laundry.


What makes you happy? 

Monday, April 19, 2010

Monday is a royal pain

Would someone please rub my bunion?  Please?  PLEASE??

- Things the Queen would never say...maybe

Friday, April 16, 2010

Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  Through the miracle of technologicialaciousness, I am updating from the Apple store in Nashville.

2.  *cyber wave to Sara*

3.  It's nice to play hooky.  Or is it hookie?  Not to be confused with hickey.  Or hickie.  Confusified.

4.  Scones.  Aren't they manna from the heavens?  Yes they are.  Stop arguing.

5.  Also, there is no real ladylike way to remove scone crumbs from one's cleavage.  Because, the dig and search method is really tactless, the bend over and shake is really risque and the ignore-it-eventually-it-will-fall-out method is really never going to happen.  I must find a restroom.

6.  Also, today I had to shout the words "We don't lick!" at least three times.  I'll bet you wish you were around to know the context of that declaration.

7.  My frenn The Transient Pod is up to her armpit hairs in finals and boxes and hot cinnamon rolls, bless her.  It's almost enough to make you want to whisk away to the moon, isn't it?

8.  So in honor of her, here's a video for your viewing pleasure.  Also, everyone is singing this in my sphere of influence today.  It's true.  Even my Hubs, who grew up in The Void wherein only Carmen was easy listening.

9.  Go away, scone crumb!

10.  You know what I'm doing this afternoon?  Besides crumb removal I mean.  No?  Of course not, how could you?  I'll just tell you.  FABRIC SHOPPING.

11.  Once again, I can feel your jealousy vibes penetrating the innernets and monitor screens.  Look, I can't help it.  Once a rock star, always a rock star.  Just ask my buddy, Mr. Bowie.

12.  Also, he kind of scares me.

13.  I have a blister on the bottom of my pinky toe.

14.  One wouldn't think that a pinky toe blister would cause one to limp and wail, but one would be ever so wrong.

15.  Am I the only one in the world too chicken to Zuumba?  Is that how you even spell it?  I'm not even going to google it, because I want no Zoomba images to penetrate my irises.  Everyone who has Zhooobmahed, keep your positive Czumba comments to yourself.

16.  Go away, pinky toe blister!

17.  I was interviewed!  Wanna read it?  Of course you do, you can't get enough of my drivel.  It's all here.

18.  I enjoy giving interviews.  I also enjoy short walks in the mall and eating scones.

19.  Ooh, and fabric shopping.  And hooking.  Not that hooking, geez.

20.  Ok, off to remove that crumb.

Have a happy and pollen filled weekend, folks!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Top 3 Things Thursday

It's Thursday.  And that only means one thing.  Actually it means a couple of things like Friday is around the corner and The Office is on tonight and it's time yet again to wash some underwears. 

But the one thing I mean has nothing to do with underwears.

I'm talking about:


Put on by the wonderful ladies at Confessions from a Working Mom and The (Un)Expected Mom.  And today's question is:

Who are your Top 3 "guilty" celebrity crushes?

3.  Tom Welling

You might know him better as Clark. 
I had to wade through eleventy billion pics of Tommy for one of him smiling.

I must say, I do like his teeth. 

And why is this a guilty crush, you ask? 

He's married.  And I'd like to hire him to rub my feet.

2.  Legolas

Mmm, Legolas. 

Why is this guilty?  Well, he's an Elf.  And I'm Eskimo. 

Our babies would be weirdos.  But weirdos with crazy awesome archery skills.

1.  The Verizon Guy

So I have a crush on this guy.

Yes, it's weird.

And my service is with AT&T. 

This is like the Coke girl crushing on the Pepsi guy.



I think my Hubs is way hotter than any of these celebrities.  From his Calvin Klein blue jean days to his current furry beard days, he's so hot he's on fiyah!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Two Words

I'm sick.

At home.

Throat hurts.

Head pounds.

Called out.

From work.

Rare occurrence.

Comfort reading.

Harry Potter.

Watching Netflix.

Instant Queue.

Genius Idea.

Ate soup.

Need shower.

Teeth gross.

Hold please.

There, better.

Brushed teeth.

Feeling smoother.

Unlike legs.

Couch beckons.

Locker hooking.

Exciting life.

Jealous, no?

Yawning widely.

Foot asleep.

Jiggling foot.

Awake, foot!

Lame post.

Brain maxed.

School Ties.

On Netflix.

Need Snuggie.

Using blanket.

Prickly legs.


One word.

My blog.

Can change.

Neener neener.

Head hurts.

Au revoir.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday is a royal pain

Aw, come on, man!  Throw me a bone!  This game of UNO sucks.

- Things the Queen would never say

Friday, April 9, 2010

Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things. Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  So I was playing this word game on my iPrecious the other day.  I spelled the word FRIEND.  Then I took away a letter and spelled FRIED.  Then I switched out another letter and spelled FIEND.  In some cosmic way, this was the universe telling me that RNs are important.

2.  Also, I really need a nap.

3.  Also, I spend too much time on my iPrecious.

4.  It's Friday.  That means:

get your freak on friday

5. You need to do your self a favor and run to Transient Pod and watch the video she's posted.  Seriously.  Do it.  You.are.welcome.

6. My choice for today:

7.  Some trivia?  What's the name of the club he's singing and walking his way in to?  It's called, what Kearsie suffers from at least three times a year.

8.  Also, he works so hard from 9 to 5?  Maybe he needs to get a job that he works 8 to 5.  Then it'll be full time.  With benefits.  THEN she'll have the finer things in life.  Just a suggestion.

9.  I dunno why I even bother to listen to lyrics.  That's when I just crank up some Come On, Eileen, and listen to babbling possiblely Irish jibber jabber.  Sometimes ignorance is blissful and toe tapping.

10.  It's all about mushrooms.  For my kitchen.  Or pizza.  Not to smoke.  Or eat.  Or inject.  Or whatever.

11.  Speaking of fungus, I am suspicious of a spot on my toe.

12.  *echo echo*

13.  You say the words "fungus" and "toe" and it'll clear the room. 

14.  That's ok.  Now I won't have to use any Febreze.

15. Also, at work?  It was smelly?  So my coworkers bought some Glade plug-in thingies?  Yeah. They remind me of morning sickness.  Which makes me about 15% queasy.

16.  Ok, quick experiment.  *GAG*  <---- how many of you gagged when I said *GAG*? 

17.  Also, another experiment.  Does anyone else think that the lunar cycle thingy is out of alignment?  Because everyone I know is hormonal.  And experiencing (menfolk, close your eyes for a sec) irregular cycles.  Let's study this and become rich and famousy. 

18.  Or, maybe we should just curl up with a good book/rerun of Step Up on TV/some knitting.

19.  Those are my weekend plans.

20.  It's a good thing I work hard from 8 to 5 so my family can have the finer things in life, like a new bag of pretzels and some toilet paper. 

Have an outstanding weekend.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I found it! Actually, Connie found it!

You remember the Weird Black Glove Incident?  No?  Well, go read up or this post won't make any sense whatsoever.

You say you don't want to read up?  Fine, obstinate reader, I'll just tell you.  I found a black glove in my bag. I didn't put it there.  I don't recognize it.  And it was all by itself.  Which is just weird.  So I put out an urgent request for someone to find the missing black glove. 

And my friend Connie found it.  She was innocently doing laundry and BAM.


You're still not getting it, are you? 


I'm fairly certain the only reason poor Connie wasn't freaking out is because she reads my blog and knows that I have the other glove.  She did what any responsible adult would do and that's immediately tell me and email the pictoral evidence.  Is pictoral a word? 

...unless someone else out there has found a random black glove?  In that case, me and Connie will be meeting with a priest who specializes in exorcisms.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I felt like having fun, or my attempt to play on words, or get ready for shameless self promotion

You know that old saying?  There's more than one way to peel a banana? 
Wait, you mean that's not a saying? 
 It should be. 

Personally, I only know one way to peel a banana. 
You know, just...peel the banana. 
I go for simple.

Another saying in the making:
In the sandwich of life, you are my mustard. 
Or mayo, if that's the way you roll.

Sometimes, I like to check out my condiments. 
You know, to see if they look tasty. 
Or if there's bugs.

Ooh, one more yet undiscovered saying:
Life is just a bowl of ravioli. 
What's the plural of ravioli?

You won't need rubber gloves to handle this bad boy.
Also, it looks like a cartoon chicken leg. 
Also, I'll bet that skin has fiber.

Occassionally, I crave me some red meat. 
I'm only human. 
I wonder if cows are ticklish? 

I never crave steak.
Because I'm apparently not like other humans. 
But if I did, I'll bet this would be a good choice.

I'm pretty short.
I have pretty short kids.
One might even call us shrimpy.

These were all items made for a custom order.  You like what you see?  I can hook you up. 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My debut in The Happiness Project

You know what makes me happy?  I love making stuff for people.  I can't say that they love it when I make stuff for them, but that's not what this is about, is it?  I get a high when I take a piece of fabric, some string or old sweaters and do a little magic.  Sometimes, seriously cool stuff is the end product. 

Recently, I made some felty foods for my youngest niece.  Which led to a custom order for a friend.  Which led to a whole lotta sewing at Chez Murphy.  It's so creative and challenging and it is so.much.fun!

This makes me very happy.

Felt doritos and a chip bag. 

This post was brought to you in response to Leigh vs. Laundry and The Happiness Project


Monday, April 5, 2010

Monday is a royal pain

Oh my gosh, last night I had this crazy dream I was on American Idol only I wasn't singing- I was knitting the National Anthem and then Simon was all snooty and was all "it was very boohring and I had to pinch myself to keep myself awake *eye roll*" and I was all, "Simon *snaps fingers* you can go kiss my ...."

- Things the Queen would never say

Friday, April 2, 2010

Keyboard Confessions - The Good Friday edition

1.  Today is Good Friday.  Do any of you know what this means?  No, it's not just a government holiday.  In fact, if you know what it is you'll be surprised that the government even recognizes it.

2.  Currently, I'm at home with my kiddos.  We're attempting to make our house fit for human inhabitation. Thus far, I think the dirty laundry is attempting a coup.  I must show that laundry who's boss.  And by that I mean, make my kids do some laundry.

3.  Don't even gasp at my home management skills.  They gotta learn it some time.  Also, all that dirty underwear wasn't worn by me.

4.  Guess what?  It's also Get Your Freak On Friday hosted by Transient Pod.  Today I'm feeling mellow and chill.  That means no Billy Idol yelling rebelliously.  Nay.  Today's toe tapping, head bobbing song is by The Sundays.

5.  Dear Harriet,  I think I love your hair, your voice and your decision to leave music to raise babies.  You are hero-worthy.  Love, Kearsie who's bobbing her head to your dulcet tones.

6.  I think everyone needs to do one or more of these things to keep life in perspective:  get yelled at by your boss, bounce some checks and experience car trouble where you're stranded at home.  Then you need to give thanks for what you do have.  Perspective.

7.  Today I gave my kids an early Easter present.  I got them one of these:

It's a Skip Ball.  Or, a foot hula.  Or something to trip on.

8.  Ya'll should've seen me trying to show how to use it.  Also, those are way hard to use.  Actually, I'm glad that no one saw me trying to show how to use it.  

9.  I also got my kids each a baton.  Or, what will most likely end up, a sibling beating tool.  

10.  I made my bed this morning.  If I get nothing else done the rest of the day, I can say I did something.  Low expectations.  

11.  Today feels like the perfect day to eat only popcorn.  It's like, my life is a movie.  Also, I'll bet my soundtrack is a hit.  

12.  I made a bowl.  That is all.  

13.  I also made jello.  

14.  I made super jello.  Like, the kind you could toss up in the air and maybe bat around with a baton kind of jello.

15.  I'm thinking of taking my kitchen shears and hacking off my hair.  It can't look any worse, people.

16.  My elliptical is staring at me.  I think it's feeling ignored.  Poor thing.  Poor expensive thing.  Is that an oxymoron?

17.  You know, I always forget I have a butt chin until I see a pic of myself.  Why, God?  Why?

18.  Perspective.  At least I have a chin.  A chinny chin chin.  A big, bulbous butty chin.

19.  Does anyone else own a copy of the Passion of the Christ at home and feel The Guilt because you don't ever want to watch it again but felt the need to own it?  

20.  I think my popcorn will go nicely with some Lord of the Rings.  Not Eastery, but still full of hobbity goodness.

Happy Good Friday.
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