*cue the DUH DUH DUUUUMM*
I saw something in my purse.
I haven't a clue how it got there.
I'm sure I didn't place it in there.
I'm sure we don't even own this. Or the other thing that goes with it.
Forgive me, I'm speaking cryptically. It's because my mind is broken. Let me show you.
See, I have this big purse, right? And, it accumulates a lot of stuff. Just normal rock star lady blogger stuff. Normal. Harmless. I'll show you.
See? Normalish stuff.
*A couple of pens
*a pack of Kleenex
*a thumbdrive containing one lone chapter of a book
*some allergy pills
*my blood pressure meds (waaahhhhh)
*my check book
*a deposit slip
*two bottles of hand sanitizer
*two bottles of lotion
*two Dum Dums to
*the case to my Sarah Palin glasses
*a gum wrapper
*two packs of gum
*my camera cord
*a power cord for the car for my iPhone (not pictured)
*a stand for my iPhone
*a black glove
*a tennis ball
I know what you're thinking. Because I'm 78% psychic. You're thinking, "Whoa. Back up. TWO packs of gum??" Look, I appreciate the power of good breath, ok? Also, that tennis ball is for me to sit on. For the pain in my butt. Sciatica. From having babies. It works. Yes, it's weird.
Also, you're missing the most important part.
WHERE THE CRAP DID THAT COME FROM?
I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE!!
I DON'T EVEN OWN A BLACK GLOVE! MY GLOVES ARE BROWN! AND WAY CUTER THAN THIS ONE!
I must find the culprit. I must find the culprit and pinch his underarm. Because now I am suspicious. And might need to bury this glove. Also, this is just what OJ felt like.