Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.
Showing posts with label suspicious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suspicious. Show all posts

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Someone tossed a glove in my direction, or, I am a lost and found magnet

So, I was all set to take part in the fun blog carnival Top Three Thursday.  I had even taken photos in preparation for today's festivities. 

Until...

*cue the DUH DUH DUUUUMM*

I saw something in my purse. 

I haven't a clue how it got there.

I'm sure I didn't place it in there.

I'm sure we don't even own this.  Or the other thing that goes with it.

Forgive me, I'm speaking cryptically.  It's because my mind is broken.  Let me show you.

See, I have this big purse, right?  And, it accumulates a lot of stuff.  Just normal rock star lady blogger stuff.  Normal.  Harmless.  I'll show you.


See?  Normalish stuff.

*A couple of pens
*a pack of Kleenex
*a thumbdrive containing one lone chapter of a book
*some allergy pills
*my blood pressure meds (waaahhhhh)
*my check book
*a deposit slip
*my wallet
*two bottles of hand sanitizer
*two bottles of lotion
*Blistex
*two Dum Dums to shut my kids up give to my sweet children
*some Advil
*sunglasses
*the case to my Sarah Palin glasses
*a gum wrapper
*two packs of gum
*my camera cord
*a power cord for the car for my iPhone (not pictured)
*a stand for my iPhone
*a black glove
*a tennis ball

I know what you're thinking.  Because I'm 78% psychic.  You're thinking, "Whoa. Back up.  TWO packs of gum??"  Look, I appreciate the power of good breath, ok?  Also, that tennis ball is for me to sit on.  For the pain in my butt.  Sciatica.  From having babies.  It works.  Yes, it's weird.

Also, you're missing the most important part. 

THIS

WHERE THE CRAP DID THAT COME FROM?

I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE!!

I DON'T EVEN OWN A BLACK GLOVE! MY GLOVES ARE BROWN! AND WAY CUTER THAN THIS ONE!

I must find the culprit.  I must find the culprit and pinch his underarm.  Because now I am suspicious.  And might need to bury this glove.  Also, this is just what OJ felt like. 
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