Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Remember that one time when I forgot I had a blog and didn't update for like, two months? I know. Good times, good times.

Oh haaaaiiii, Bloggy Blog.  Remember me?  Your owner?  Yes, I know.  I'm a lousy owner.  I forgot to feed you and change your litter box.  In fact, your litter box was so full of spam I could barely summon the energy to write after I cleaned that bad boy out.  Also, did you know, sweet Blog, that you're a big hit in Russia?  I know.  I was impressed, too.  Although, I'm pretty sure it was Russians trying to sell you Viagra, but whatev.  Who cares!  You've gone international!...Sort of...   *high fives Blog for living the dream*

Also, sweet Blog, I must apologize to you for a number of things.  No, this isn't a Keyboard Confession.  No, I don't want to write a list.  Why, you ask?  Just because.  Stop tugging on my arm, Blog.  I don't want to!  Oh geez, fine.  *sigh*  You're so pushy.  Here goes.

Keyboard Confessions:  Why I must apologize to my blog edition

1.  I let my URL lapse and now you must have .blogspot.com back in your address.  I made you put on weight.  And you didn't even get to eat cake.

2.  I left you high and dry with only the echoey strains of South Beach Diet and NaNoWriMo to keep you company.  Neither one were very funny.

3.  I let your inbox get swamped with spam.  Spam is lame.  Unless it's fried with rice.

4.  It's been so long since I updated you that I forgot how to write Keyboard Confessions.  I know.  What has happened to me?

5.  I chose work over you.  *hangs head in shame*

6.  But that's not all, dear Blog.  There's more.  Instead of taking my free time to write on you...well...I chose to...*whispers* do laundry.

7.  Dude.  I'm sorry, but someone had to clean the underwears of the family.  Trust me, it wasn't always fun.

8.  And there's one more thing.  *takes deep breath*  In my sparest of time, I...no, I can't say it...you won't want to hear it...no! don't make me admit it!  ok, fine.  I read.  There, I said it.  You happy now, blog?  You know the ugly truth.  I read.  A lot.  

9.  And I liked it.

10.  Phew!  I don't know about you, but I feel tons better.  All that confession was good for my soul.

So, do you forgive me, sweet Blog?  Will you be my friend again?  Yes?  Really??  Sweet!  You're totally my BFFAIMI**.  Also, I learned BFFAIMI from Addie, remember her?  The one who wanted the bra and totally makes you full of content?  Yeah, her.  She thunk up BFFAIMI all on her own.  I was kind of proud.

Well, Dear Blog, I must go to bed.  Because I've become an old woman since we parted and I go to bed super duper early.  I know, I got pretty dull once I stopped updating you.  My loss, sweet Blog.  My loss.

Nighty night, sweet Blog.  I promise not to neglect you so long again.  Also, I must remember to buy some cyber Febreze for your inbox.  Because it stinks in there.

Peace out, yo.

**Best Friends Forever And I Mean It
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