1. Today I go to the doctor. This is about as much fun as getting my taxes done. Which, guess what? I get to do that on Saturday. All I need now is for all my teeth to fall out or my cars to explode and my weekend shall be complete.
2. Also, when I made my doctor's appointment, I didn't realize it would be at the end of a go-on-vacation-eat-fried-and-tasty-foods-galore vacation. Can we say "Hello, Fatty McFattington, you're blood pressure sucks?"
3. But that's ok. You know why? Because today is also Transient Pod's Get Your Freak On Friday!!! Woot woot!!
4. So what song has my toes tapping? Ooh! I got it. I'm choosing this song because this is the song that came up the most on my iPod whilst driving to and fro on the highways of North Carolina and Tennessee. You ready? Of course you are, what am I even saying? Prepare to get up and dance! Or...tap your toes!
5. Summertime by Will Smith.
6. I think this came on three? four times? Idk, but guess what? I sang along each.and.every.time. Because, word, if I have to drive, we gonna do it wif my iPod on.
7. Also, guess what? My Hubs doesn't really care for that song. I know, his loss, right?
8. Guess what else? I found out that these super nice and godly ladies from my old domain in North Carolina read my bloggage. So, a special SHOUT OUT to Cynthia and Marie!! Also, I hope all my talk of boogers doesn't gross you out.
9. I talk a whole lot about spinners with Mrs. TP. If only my skin tone was a bit darker so it would be acceptable to have some spinners on my Oldsmobile. Also, I suspect they would cost more than my whole car is worth.
10. Except for all my Dope Mixes of Beats. Because they are invaluable.
11. I just slammed some scrabbled eggs. Guess what? You should never slam eggs. Because then you get the burps.
12. Also, in real life it's been like, idk, 13 minutes since I slammed my eggs and I just realized my napkin is still on my lap. I bet ya'll didn't know I was so ladylike and conscientious. *burp*
13. So, it was suggested to me that I should bundle up all my KC's (Keyboard Confessions, you know) and make them into a book. Will that be a seller? 87 pages talking of boogers, burping and that one time I ate like 117 grams of fiber? I'm just not sure.
14. Also, here is a True Confession. You ready? It has nothing to do with boogers. Here goes. Just once in my life, I want someone to tell me that I'm Dave Barry meets Erma Bombeck. There. There it is. My big secret. It's out. Just sitting there. Getting breathed on by the winds of the innernets. Now it's getting hard and crusty. Like other things that start with B and end in OOGERS. DANG!
15. Maybe it's Turret's. Also I'll bet Erma never even said the word BOOGERS. Alas.
16. I dusted off my elliptical last night. And by golly, I burned off the calories from that stupid no-bake cookie I ate mindlessly that I later discovered was, get this: 121 calories!! WHAT WAS I THINKING??
17. But that's ok, because I only stroked out after like, 12 minutes of ellipticaling.
18. Remember last week? And my rock star fingernails? Well guess what? Now they're flaking off.
19. I must remember to use a magnifying glass on KISS's album cover to see if their nails are flaking.
20. Because, obviously, KISS is the style I'm going for.
Happy Friday, my friends.
Also! Don't forget my giveaway for DapperPaper Thank You cards!! And Wendiwinn's giveaway for a shiny knife and cutting board!!