Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Keyboard Confessions: the travel edition

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  So.  Guess what I'm about to do today?  No, not getting my brows waxed.  Good try. Guess again.  No, not going to the girly doctor.  You guys suck at this. Ok ok, I'll just tell you. I'm headed out on vacation!  Woot woot!

2.  I'm leaaaavin, in a rental car, because our Oldsmobile won't make it very far...I totally should start writing song lyrics because clearly I'm gifted.

3.  I always experience what I call Rental Car Covet in the weeks after vacations.  Because our cars are crap.

4.  I've got guest posts lined up for next week.  Aren't you happy?  Remember last time?  Skin tags and hotel sex?  I know, you've got to come back.  You never know what my guest bloggers will say.

5.  New folks to this blog are scratching their heads.  "Skin tags...?"  Trust me, confused friend, it's better if you don't know. 

6.  I'm wearing a slip today.  Does anyone else have to reach up all unladylikey under their skirt to adjust the slip that has inched up to resemble a cumberbun?

7.  This is item #47 of my How I'm Cosmetically Challenged.

8.  So.  Nose rings.  I think I want one.  But.  I don't know if I'm cool enough to pull it off.

9.  Or a tattoo?  Will I look hardcore awesome with a tattoo?  Or just like a 34 year old trying to look cool?

10.  Alas.  There's #48.

11.  Someone just remarked on the fact that my skirt is very Easter.  Is that ok?  Am I a walking faux pas?  DANG.  #49.

12.  Guess what song I've had in my head for the last 3 days? 

We don't have to take our CLOTHES OFF, to have a good time...
*insert '80's side to side dance step*

13.  *Weep* help...me...

14. Wait!  This is is!  This is my submission to Transient Pod's Get Your Freak On Friday!! 

Woot!!  So, sweet and unsuspecting readers, here is my chance to get this blasted song out of MY head and into YOURS!  MUAHAHAHAHA!!

15.  Also, I wonder if I could sing this to my husband? "Boy, I'm not a piece of meat"  Also, I wonder if he's reading this.  I keep forgetting I'm about to be on a 12-hour car ride with this blessed man. 

16.  I painted my nails last night.  This is such a rare occassion I had to share.  This color:

17.  I feel so punk rock. 

18.  I also feel dorky for saying the words "I feel so punk rock".  Because I bet punk rock people don't go around saying "Hey man, we're so punk rock".  That's like a bunch of preppy people sitting around Starbucks going "Hey man, we're so preppy".  In fact, I'm pretty sure you're not punk rock if you have to say you're punk rock.  Hmm. 

19.  I feel so sexy and skinny.

20.  Dang.  There's #50.

Happy Friday.


The Only Girl said...

a) have a great time!

b) LOVE the black nails - it's my favourite colour too.

c) They would look so punk rock with a pierced nose. Which, by the way, I have. And I can tell you that people call me cool ALL the time.

tristan said...

he had me at the eyeliner and straightened hair. oh and the "not taking clothes off to have a good time." i'm sending this song to matt as we speak.
1. get a nose ring. i've had one three different times. had to take them out for stupid jobs. i'm doing it again. ::insert mexican voice here:: do it, vato.
2. your nails look good. rawr.
3. my mom just turned 40 and she got her first tattoo over thanksgiving. ::insert mexican voice here:: do it, vato.
4. this song is stuck in my head. thank you.
5. i like cumberbunds.

Sara said...

Yo. Have fun at Summit (w/o me). Steve might be there. I'll tell him to look for the person I stalk and her uncomfortable- looking husband (because of the stalking).

Creative Junkie said...

Would you believe I just heard that song yesterday? On the classics station. My daughters were like WTF? Except they didn't say that because I would have yelled at them but they were thinking it.

I actually like the look of nose rings or studs or whatever they're called but I can't get over the ICK factor of them. I mean, it's touching the inside of your nose! *shudder*

Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...

An Easter Skirt? Shame on you!! And BTW I love that nail color :-)Thanks for the laugh today!

robin said...

i hear that song quite a bit! maybe it's making some sort of weird comeback. love the dark nails. love YOU! have a great vacation!

MiMi said...

I'm getting ready to paint my nails that same color, girl!
That's all I can think of to say because I'm just amazed that we're twins and you're not taking your twin on vacay with you.

Shell said...

I totally started singing that song as soon as you mentioned that line!

Enjoy your vacation!

w said...

my toe nails are black. painted. not from fungus.

also. that song makes me want to stick my head in the oven.

and. of those 2 guest post links, one is not mine. lame.

Much More Than Mommy said...

I like the nail color! Now I want to paint my nails... And take my clothes off. Wait, it said we don't have to take our clothes off. Okay...

Have fun on vaca! :-D

Lanie Ree said...

1. Those really were my guesses...

2. had me snorting

8. Go for it!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

#6? Hell to the mother effin yes! Every time.

Have a great vacation.

Stacey said...

Your list made me giggle! Thanks for the laugh!

Joy said...

omg. hilarious! so glad i started following your blog!

Double Wide Mom said...

you definitely deserve a tattoo AND a pierced nose!

Too Many Hats said...

So your wearing an Easter dress with punk rock nails - you are stylin'

Baby Sweetness said...

I think it might be physically impossible to have both a slip and a nose ring / tattoo. Seriously. I think it opens up a wormhole in the universe or messes up the space time continuum or something. I don't know - I'm no Emmet Brown (as long as we're doing 80's references!).

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