Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things. Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  Should you visit Chez Murphy today, you'd mistake it for Old Mother Hubbard's house.

2.  Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if moths started flying out of my cupboards.

3.  You know what that means.  I must troll the Walmarts and fight the crowds.  In the rain.  With my kids.  Which is almost as fun as going to the Post Office during my lunch break with my two kids.  And they have to pee. 

4.  Did you know I have high blood pressure?  I'll bet you'll never guess why.  *banging head on desk*

5.  It's supposed to storm all.weekend.long.  I know.  I'm jumping up and down with joy.  *blink blink*  Ok, I'm only jumping on the inside. 

6.  That reminds me of this song:



7.  I certainly can't stop the rain.  Even when it sounds like a tomato outside.  You like how I did that?  Self plugging?  Or is that self pimping...

8.  Did you know I live on a farm?  With animals which eat and poop all around my house?  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes vultures pick apart the carcasses.  Sometimes my father in law brings home offerrings for my children to examine.  Like this:

9.  Yes, that's vertabrae.  No, I don't understand why he thought it'd look nice on our doorstep.  Yes, I think it's gross.  Yes, I plan on moving it.  No, I don't want to touch it. 

10.  I'm wearing a skirt today.  And somehow, I'm wearing it ala Steve Urkel.  It works.

11.  Mother's Day is right around the corner.  I asked for this:

12.  It's a market basket.  Yes, I'm serious.  Yes, it is too cool. 

13.  Also, I want a nap for Mother's Day.  And to walk through the room without stepping on dirty clothes.  Just ...for one... day.  *dreaming the dream*

14.  Oh man.  I just realized I forgot my slip.  The Steve Urkel method of skirt wearing needs tweaking.

15.  Currently, I'm listening to the socially defunct but still easy to use music playlist on Myspace.  If you're like my Hubs, you're shaking your head at me and thinking I'm so behind the times. You're probably right, which is why I threw in the Steve Urkel reference earlier.  And I wear my hair like I did 10 years ago.  And makeup like I did when I was 13.  Move along, the wreck doesn't get any better.  Anyways, so I'm listening to the song "I Ran". 

16.  I can't remember the last time I ran.  Seriously.  I mean, I courtesy jog sometimes, but like for-real-arms-pumping-feet-pounding ran?  I must've been like, 12. 

17.  Also, I'm contemplating new hairstyle.  Perhaps I should glean from the Flock of Seagulls. 

18.  All you young folk haven't a clue what I'm talking about.  Or my Hubs.  Just like The Dark Crystal.  *shakes head in sadness*

19.  Now I'm listening to the Safety Dance.  I don't know anyone who's done this dance.  Except for folks on drugs maybe.  Or crossing guards.

20.  *crosses eyeballs* Man, I sure am glad I grew up in the 80's.

Happy Friday.  Everybody Safety Dance.  And watch out for the rain.