Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things. Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  Should you visit Chez Murphy today, you'd mistake it for Old Mother Hubbard's house.

2.  Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if moths started flying out of my cupboards.

3.  You know what that means.  I must troll the Walmarts and fight the crowds.  In the rain.  With my kids.  Which is almost as fun as going to the Post Office during my lunch break with my two kids.  And they have to pee. 

4.  Did you know I have high blood pressure?  I'll bet you'll never guess why.  *banging head on desk*

5.  It's supposed to storm all.weekend.long.  I know.  I'm jumping up and down with joy.  *blink blink*  Ok, I'm only jumping on the inside. 

6.  That reminds me of this song:

7.  I certainly can't stop the rain.  Even when it sounds like a tomato outside.  You like how I did that?  Self plugging?  Or is that self pimping...

8.  Did you know I live on a farm?  With animals which eat and poop all around my house?  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes vultures pick apart the carcasses.  Sometimes my father in law brings home offerrings for my children to examine.  Like this:

9.  Yes, that's vertabrae.  No, I don't understand why he thought it'd look nice on our doorstep.  Yes, I think it's gross.  Yes, I plan on moving it.  No, I don't want to touch it. 

10.  I'm wearing a skirt today.  And somehow, I'm wearing it ala Steve Urkel.  It works.

11.  Mother's Day is right around the corner.  I asked for this:

12.  It's a market basket.  Yes, I'm serious.  Yes, it is too cool. 

13.  Also, I want a nap for Mother's Day.  And to walk through the room without stepping on dirty clothes.  Just ...for one... day.  *dreaming the dream*

14.  Oh man.  I just realized I forgot my slip.  The Steve Urkel method of skirt wearing needs tweaking.

15.  Currently, I'm listening to the socially defunct but still easy to use music playlist on Myspace.  If you're like my Hubs, you're shaking your head at me and thinking I'm so behind the times. You're probably right, which is why I threw in the Steve Urkel reference earlier.  And I wear my hair like I did 10 years ago.  And makeup like I did when I was 13.  Move along, the wreck doesn't get any better.  Anyways, so I'm listening to the song "I Ran". 

16.  I can't remember the last time I ran.  Seriously.  I mean, I courtesy jog sometimes, but like for-real-arms-pumping-feet-pounding ran?  I must've been like, 12. 

17.  Also, I'm contemplating new hairstyle.  Perhaps I should glean from the Flock of Seagulls. 

18.  All you young folk haven't a clue what I'm talking about.  Or my Hubs.  Just like The Dark Crystal.  *shakes head in sadness*

19.  Now I'm listening to the Safety Dance.  I don't know anyone who's done this dance.  Except for folks on drugs maybe.  Or crossing guards.

20.  *crosses eyeballs* Man, I sure am glad I grew up in the 80's.

Happy Friday.  Everybody Safety Dance.  And watch out for the rain.


the shoafs said...

I was TOTALLY rockin' to "Safety Dance" on XM 80s on 8 this morning. I actually just posted on the 80s the other day....and referenced Steve Urkel. You know what they say about great minds.... :)

connie said...

I want a hat like Devo....

Dee Crowe said...

yep yep...grew up in the 80's too...graduated in the 80's...mannnnnnnnnnnn...sometimes I wear my pants steve urkel style..especially when I'm feeling...hmmm...well like when I don't want anyone to admire the armpit hair that may peek out between low ride jeans and a shirt that doesn't cover the tushy....

angie128 said...

We are supposed to get 10" of rain this weekend. Blurb.

Beth said...

Just a suggestion but since you live on a farm ... rather than going to (hell on earth) Wal Mart for groceries ... you could kill something (which would probably help your blood pressure but you might want to stick to farm animals in order to avoid legal complications), cook it, eat and it ... and leave the innards, including the vertebrae for your father in law!

Beth said...

eat it and (I have a headache and should not be trying to think and type at the same time)

Bossy Betty said...

Loved this post. Your thought process is great!

You must have that market basket!!!! I must have that market basket!!!

Anonymous said...

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Much More Than Mommy said...

I think I would have screamed a LOT if there had been vertabrae on my porch.

MiMi said...

Vertabrae? Yikes.
I like that shopping basket!
And, yeah, we did the Walmarts in the rain Friday, too.

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