Every week I sit down and confess some things. Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.
1. Ugggghhhh. Today my sciatica hurts.
2. This means I have a literal pain in my butt.
3. I carry a small purse now instead of my giant black behemoth purse, so no tennis ball to sit on.
4. I might have to walk around gripping my buttock. It hurts.
5. When you say through the week that you're craving cake and you never get any cake, guess what? It becomes an obsession.
6. My plan is to drive to the Walmarts, troll the aisles for milk and carrott sticks and junk, sneak to the bakery, buy a tiny cake just for me, perform secret ninja moves carrying my groceries in the house, hide the cake from my greedy kids, then ninja myself to the bathroom where I can cram my cake in my mouth.
7. I am total geniusy. Now the big question: yellow cake or chocolate cake?
8. I am addicted to this song and video. Beware uber creepiness.
9. Owww. My butt hurrrrrts.
10. You know the sad thing is that all I did was sleep. I didn't run a mile, I didn't Tae Bo, I didn't lift heavy boxes. Nay. I just laid on my side and slept. Sad.
11. We're down to one car again. Ask me how much fun this is.
12. Also, I only needed a car for the next 18 days and then it could've quit, caught on fire, been crapped on by a pterodactyl. I really wouldn't've cared. Nor do I care that wouldn't've isn't a word. Word.
13. I want cake sooooo bad. Yellow cake. Chocolate frosting.
14. I made the mistake of looking at my heels. Why didn't anyone tell me they look disgusting? Seriously. Also, I have a heel shaver file thingy here at my desk. But so is my replacement. This is kind of a private thing, I think.
15. However, I don't want to take the heel shaver file thingy to the bathroom. That's just gross.
16. You know what else I don't want to do anymore? Pack.
17. I can't hear the word MOTION without adding on the word LOTION.
18. So when my Hubs asked me what I thought of naming our church Motion, I just snickered. I'm a twelve year old.
19. Speaking of Motion Lotion, I think we're low on gas, too.
20. Here's hoping you don't have a pain in your butt.
To My Friends Who Try to Sell Me Things on Facebook
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