Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Keyboard Confession - the pain edition

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  Ugggghhhh.  Today my sciatica hurts.

2.  This means I have a literal pain in my butt. 

3.  I carry a small purse now instead of my giant black behemoth purse, so no tennis ball to sit on. 

4.  I might have to walk around gripping my buttock.  It hurts.

5.  When you say through the week that you're craving cake and you never get any cake, guess what?  It becomes an obsession.

6.  My plan is to drive to the Walmarts, troll the aisles for milk and carrott sticks and junk, sneak to the bakery, buy a tiny cake just for me, perform secret ninja moves carrying my groceries in the house, hide the cake from my greedy kids, then ninja myself to the bathroom where I can cram my cake in my mouth. 

7.  I am total geniusy.  Now the big question:  yellow cake or chocolate cake?

8.  I am addicted to this song and video.  Beware uber creepiness.


9.  Owww.  My butt hurrrrrts. 

10.  You know the sad thing is that all I did was sleep.  I didn't run a mile, I didn't Tae Bo, I didn't lift heavy boxes.  Nay.  I just laid on my side and slept.  Sad.

11.  We're down to one car again.  Ask me how much fun this is. 

12.  Also, I only needed a car for the next 18 days and then it could've quit, caught on fire, been crapped on by a pterodactyl.  I really wouldn't've cared.  Nor do I care that wouldn't've isn't a word.  Word.

13.  I want cake sooooo bad.  Yellow cake.  Chocolate frosting.

14.  I made the mistake of looking at my heels.  Why didn't anyone tell me they look disgusting?  Seriously.  Also, I have a heel shaver file thingy here at my desk.  But so is my replacement.  This is kind of a private thing, I think.

15.  However, I don't want to take the heel shaver file thingy to the bathroom.  That's just gross.

16.  You know what else I don't want to do anymore?  Pack. 

17.  I can't hear the word MOTION without adding on the word LOTION. 

18.  So when my Hubs asked me what I thought of naming our church Motion, I just snickered.  I'm a twelve year old. 

19.  Speaking of Motion Lotion, I think we're low on gas, too. 

20.  Here's hoping you don't have a pain in your butt. 

Happy Friday.

18 comments:

Dee Crowe said...

sciatica blows...I got mine just by having a child..lovely..
word

that video is creepy..but the song is kinda catchy..
dang..now I'm hooked..

Evil motion lotion
word x2

Karen said...

wouldn't've is a compound contraction...
so, there! You are super smartylicious! I say we use them everywhere...

Kelly said...

I have sciatica problems from a car accident. I have two herniated discs in my lower back that put pressure on my sciatica from time to time. So yeah it really blows. Sorry you're having butt pains. :o)

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Okay that was by far the creepiest 4:10 of my entire life. But you did warn me, so we're good...

Also, I just made a chocolate sheet cake two days ago. It's all moist and gooey and just sitting in my fridge. I know it's not yellow, but you're welcome to it.

Aunt Melissa said...

is this the time you say it is better to have a pain in the butt rather than be one?

sorry dear, here's a prayer your pain goes away fast and stays away.

The Ashes said...

Hahahah i love that you sneak cake from your kids

Lorna said...

That video was more then just creepy! It was scarey! What was wrong with their eyes? Did they Lady GaGa them and make them bigger like in Bad Romance? Totally freaked me out!

The Retired One said...

You are NOT going to like what I am about to say...but I JUST took a chocolate cake out of the oven. No kidding...the chocolate smell is waffling alllllll through the house...

Much More Than Mommy said...

Can you sit on a donut shaped pillow? Or would that make you think of cake...

Jenny Georgio-who said...

What makes me laugh is that you think that shaving your heel in a bathroom is gross but not eating yellow cake with chocolate frosting in a bathroom....

Too funny. Happy Friday!!

MiMi said...

Sorry about the pain in your butt!! :(
I want some cake now.

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

K-
My man is watching this video doing Beavis and Butthead commentary to this video.

Hysterical.
S

robin said...

yes. very creepy! who are these people?

Stacey said...

I really hope your quest for cake was successful! And I hope the pain in your butt is better! I always love your lists!

Beth said...

Go get the cake. You deserve it!

Lauren said...

I'm sorry you have a pain in your butt :( I haven't been getting updates to your blog, so I haven't been by, my b.

I was completely obsessed with cupcakes last week. If I don't get one before I go back to work on Tuesday I will be sad.

ElegantSnobbery said...

Here's something to know about me, now that I know a lot about you, your sore bum, and the need to pair the word motion with lotion (always good stuff to know, of course): Yellow cake with chocolate frosting = my fave. Seriously.

Shell said...

LOL @ your secret ninja moves to get cake! Did it work?

And Motion...I would then bust out laughing in the middle of church!

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