Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  We have three cars in our possession.  Two of them are broken.  This leaves one car.  This also leaves me very stressed out.

2.  But, part of my stress is about to be relieved as I remembered to bring nail clippers to work with me. 

3.  Soon, I shall be able to write words like "about it" without writing "abou tit".  My nails super bad get in the way.

4.  Nails, in general, are just gross.  So is hair. They're just...rapidly growing skin cells.  That also happen to be dead.  It's like zombie body parts.  Gross.

5.  I think about weird things like this.  Also, you know how people break out?  What if we peeled off the top few layers of skin, would we see a whole bunch of zits all piled up?

6.  It's possible I read a little too much science fiction.

7.  Two words.  Felt food.  Much fun.  Easy peasy.  So that's actually like 6 words.

8.  We're trying this new thing at home.  It's called "Keep The House Clean All The Time". 

9.  It's also called "This Sucks".

10.  You know what doesn't suck?  Felt food.

11.  Are you confused?  Have no idea what felt food is?  Well, inquisitive reader, I shall remedy that for you.

12.  Felt Doritos.  *kisses fingertips*  My piece de resistance.  Also, a choking hazard for wee babes, which I forgot about whilst making them for my niece.  Alas. In about 3 years she can play with them. 

13.  Man I wished I liked coffee.  It smells soooo good.  But tastes soooo gross.  Like, I don't know, hickory smoked dirt. 

14.  I suppose I will stick to my early morning Diet Coke.  It's probably like motor oil for my belly.

15.  Speaking of motor oil, my husband valiently tried to fix our car last night and was covered with grease.  It was kind of rawr.

16.  But just on him.  If it was on me it would be kind of whimper/cry.  I don't like to be dirty.

17.  Two more words:  Netflix rocks the hizzouse.  That's like four words.  How come it took me like, 17 years to get on board with Netflix?

18.  I think I'm going to take Angie128's advice and bring a booster seat for my office chair. 

19.  That booster seat will make it all the more easier to watch The Dark Crystal during my lunch.  I wonder if I can pick up a Happy Meal? 

20.  If only I had a Snuggie.

Happy Friday, my friend.