I rush to the stage, waving my Miss America wave as I go, tripping on the dangly sequin thingies hanging from my gown.
I clamber to the stage, grinning for the world to see my pearly whites, along with my freshly trimmed nostril hairs, and my chronic bad hair whipped into submission.
I grab the Zombie Chicken award from Insanity Kim and quickly turn to the microphone.
"Thank you!" I cry. The audience cringes as feedback squeals manically.
"This is such a surprise! Hold on, I have notes..." I fumble my Zombie Chicken award whilst hunting for my folded up napkin that is tucked close to my armpit in my dress. Hey, it's not like I had pockets in this fancy thing. At least I wore deodorant.
I unfold my notes and see that the sweat from the armpit region has completely obliterated all my notes, except for the word FEBREZE. Alas, I shall just have to wing it.
"Umm. So, this Zombie Chicken award is super special because it means that someone thinks I am worth braving an army of zombie chickens pecking away at them with danger of disease and death at every corner just to read my blog!" I wipe a tear.
"So I'd like to thank my Hubs and kids, for their inspiration, and to my blog buddies, for their comments and blogs full of funny, for my chronic bad hair, including my nostril hair, which often plagues me *chokes back sob*, for The Queen, and what she's done for my Mondays, *I wipe my nose*, for my Edward Doll *I fan my face with my gloved hand* and for all his Adventures *I put my face in my hand and wail, some kind soul ushers me off the stage as a smatter of applause ripples across the audience, producers cue the commercial to Febreze*
It could happen.
So, thank you, Insanity Kim, for my awesome award!
Now, I bestow this award on those bloggers out there which I would brave an army of diseased and deadly Zombie Chickens just to read their funny.*Much More Than Mommy, who started this mission with me
*Jenny On The Spot, who wears black nail polish and who I admire greatly
*Speaking From The Crib, who has already received this award because she's awesome
*For Love or Funny, because she is so very, you guessed it, funny
and
*Wendiwinn, even though she's too cool to accept awards
So, thank you and high fives all around!
18 comments:
well i am proud of you. you are finally getting your glory day in the hot sun. (that is a quote from nacho libre) too bad you and i never got a vma for our preformance at solid rock bible camp. you know what i am refering too.....
girl. i'd take the award. but i'm sure beyonce did a better job than me.
man. that's never gonna get old.
Robin, I do indeed know to what you're referring to. If only I still had my aluminum covered cardboard guitar...
w, beyonce did a better job than everyone.
thanks for the award! i am almost too cool to not accept awards but not quite yet - i like to recognize others and i am not going to turn down free publicity either :) award for you on friday at my place
Ooh!! Exciting!! I shall be there with bells on! Actually, I don't have any bells to wear. So I'll probably just show up with regular appearal.
Thank you, Kears! *sniff* *wipes tears* *trips on zombie chicken*
Oh yes, Much More Than Mommy, watch for the zombie chicken poo, it's a bit nasty.
Oh, I'm so PROUD of you! I remember when you were scared of Zombie ANYTHING and now here you are, snif* snif*, all grown up, EMBRACING a Zombie, a CHICKEN ZOMBIE at that! snif* snif* You GO GIRL
Coming by through SITS!
Congrats on the award! That rocks!
Mom, after watching a marathon of Resident Evil, I am no longer afraid of Zombies. Except, I really need to start carrying a machete.
Mommy Kennedy, nice to have you here! Thanks!
Kearsie, you're the best! Thanks for the award! And thanks for all the smiles you always give to me with your comments and blog posts.
By the way, there will be a scary doll on my blog soon...just for doll lovers like you!
Oh man, Lynn. You had me until you said "scary doll". Now I'm back under my desk in the fetal position again.
Congrats! What a fun award! Stopping by from SITS~
Hi, JDaniel4's Mom!
Congrats! You have to watch out for those zombie chickens they often patrol the best blogs. Thanks for stopping by mine.
You're for dang real right they go to the best blogs...oh man, I am way too cocky. What I meant to say was, congrats to you, too!
Ya know... I would also brave a flock of zombie chickens for you.... but if they start playin' Young MC on the PA system of where ever we are being attacked by zombie chickens at... just know I will stop saving you for a moment so I can bust a few moves.
And also - OH MY GAH.... I also, want to thank the Academy... This is prolly the coolest award ever!
Thank you, thank you... weeping... but out of joy... not becuase of zombie chicken attack.
Dude, I would fully expect you to bust a few moves. I might even bust a few moves on my death bed and what was a horrible zombie chicken attack would turn into a Young MC musical ala Glee episode.
I think we could take this idea somewhere in Hollywood...
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