Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things. Mostly its just an excuse to write a list.

1. After 12 days, I finally took down my tree. Inevitably, upon stuffing said tree in the box wherein it hibernates for 11 months, I always find one lone ornament out on it's own. It's like a runaway ornament. It could be an After School Special.

2. Recently, I found an ornament in my daughter's bed. She doesn't know why she took it to bed, she just knows it's her favorite.

3. We finally broke down and bought it. What's "it", you ask? It's an elliptical machine.

4. Guess what? My body does not enjoy exercise. In fact, for the 2 minutes and 13 seconds I managed to work out last night, the entire time my brain was telling my body STOP THIS, THIS HURTS, WE DO NOT LIKE THIS BEHAVIOR, IF YOU DON'T STOP WE WILL SO PUNISH YOU.

5. And then I sat on the couch and proceeded to feel like having a stroke. And gasped and heaved and wheezed and updated my Facebook status. Because I have priorities, you know.

6. Also, I wonder when my brain began speaking in the royal "we"?

7. Last night there was some big time game on TV. I could care less about sports. That's no secret. What gets me is when people take it personally when their team does bad. It's like the team got together in the locker room and said "Let's all do our worst, hey you, yeah you- you fumble the ball, and you-yeah you over there, you go out of bounds at key moments in the game, let's make these people sitting on their couches cuss and fume, ok? Let's go! BREAK!"

8. Then the next day folks who have nothing to do with the team except maybe own a Tshirt with their team name on it go around saying things like "we really need to rethink our offense". Exqueeze me? "We?" I'm sorry. Do you really think you have a vital opinion that will change things and win the game? Pur-lease.

9. Yet, I kept quiet, even sat through the ridiculous press conference afterwards, watching some poor sap who looked tired and grass stained have to answer ridiculous questions by some ridiculous reporter. *head shaking* I just don't get it.

10. Also, it's possible my Hubs wouldn't let me buy a winter coat that was red and white because it might look like I supported the wrong team. Thankfully, no team out there is lime green and white.

11. Or if there is a lime green and white, I just might support them for choosing some awesome colors. I'll bet their mascot is a bowl of lime sherbet or a coconut with a slice of lime. They would have one solid supporter in me.

12. Ooh, and their school song would be "Put a lime in the coconut and drink it all up".

13. Except, I'll bet drinking coconut milk with a splash of lime is disgusting.

14. I would have to speak out about that and say "we really need to rethink our song".

15. Hmm, maybe I get it now.

16. I wonder who else out there has an Edward doll? Maybe I should hold a photo contest? Whaddya think? Best pic gets a prize?

17. I do have this extra New Moon game just sitting around...

18. I also have an extra set of bed sheets. I don't think that'd make a good prize though. They are, after all, only 200 thread count.

19. Now that it's the coldest time of the year and I have Christmas money, all the stores have out their spring line. Tank tops, when it's 14 degrees outside. Yep, makes sense to me.

20. We really need to rethink our clothing sales.

Happy Friday.

25 comments:

CCW said...

Intrigued by 'keyboard confessions' when I spotted it on SITS; delighted by your blog title; won over by your post.

We'll be back.

Kearsie said...

Awesome! Also, your picture reminds me to drink water. Unless that picture is a glass of vodka, in which case it reminds of that one time in the 9th grade I drank vodka. Either way, I'm thirsty now.

robin said...

i am all about the edward photo contest! except you have my edward doll right now. how is he? are you letting him out to feed enough? have any horses gone missing?

"And so our stories go..." said...

Love your confessions. I exercise a lot and it takes time to build up to feeling great. although I hurt my back yesterday from too much...exercise.
Mary

Kearsie said...

Robin, Edward is fine and dandy. He is hanging it with Bella doll on my bookshelf. Possibly feeding off the flies that live on the farm.

Mary, thanks for stopping by! and hahaahahaha! Alas, I don't think I'll ever just feel great about working muscles into submission. But here's hoping.

Insanitykim said...

Not that you don't having me laughing all the time, but, I was especially laughing a loh a loh while reading this week's list-o-co'fessin's...I think the elliptical sent a surge of oxygen to your brain 'cause you were a bit fiesty-er too...

I totally had a dream about you last night, and I know you are just itching to hear about it...

Amy said...

We were the same way when we got our elliptical! It looked so much easier than it was. I found it helped to stop looking at my progress since I felt like it had been 2 hours and it had only been 1.5 minutes!!!
And, also, I hate football. Mostly because it interrupts my regular television schedule, but also because it's boring.

MoreThanMyOwnLife said...

This is hilarious. I love the part about football teams. I love the people who boast that their team is the best. Then said team loses, and instead of admitting they sucked during that game, they bring up other times when they did amazing, because it makes it better? Nope..

I don't have an Edward doll, I feel like I need one now. 8)

Shell said...

Thanks for the giggles! I love the way your mind works. LOL

Kearsie said...

Jim, if your dream involved me, a packet of Oreos and Tom Welling then I'd say we're spending way too much quality time together.

Amy, I know, so boring! You know it's boring when you're looking at your heels thinking how best to file them or if you should get a jumpstart on your income taxes. Boooring.

MoreThanMyOwnLife, oh man, you sooo need an Edward doll! You could hug him and squeeze him and call him your own, and maybe knit him a scarf and sew him a Snuggie and pose him in strange places...wait, this sounds too familiar...

Shell, thank you! Have a seat, grab a Snuggie and a snack and join in the fun. Ok that sounded cheesy. Speaking of cheesy, I think I have some nachos around here somewhere...

Much More Than Mommy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

And I want to see your coat.

And I would love to see you do an Edward doll photo contest. DO IT!

Kearsie said...

Much More Than Mommy, I think I will!!

ScoMan said...

Ah yes the quiet ice cold car rides home after a Football game with dad when our team does poorly. We do take it too seriously, but we were programmed that way.

Aunt Shanon said...

I don't need an Edward doll, but my Rosie doll said she would just love an Edward doll.

mom said...

What's an elliptical machine? One of those little boxes with a hole in it that you use to look at a solar eclipse?

w said...

give.me.that.game.

Melinda said...

Confession: Um, today when my team was doing it's best to make me cuss and fume, I put on a team jersey as if somehow that would help them play better. It didn't. I'm still wearing it. I don't know why. : )

The Retired One said...

Don't you DARE have a photo contest for Edward, because your other blog with Edward scenarios is unique and hilarious and NO ONE ELSE is allowed to pose him into anything that looks like it....got it? WE shouldn't do that....

Kearsie said...

Scoman, man, this makes me glad I grew up with women who eschewed sports of all kinds.

Aunt Shanon, I have no idea what a Rosie doll is, but I'll bet Edward would get along famously with her.

Mom, an elliptical machine is also known as a machine of pain. However, my Incentive Picture won't become reality without pain. Sadly.

w., If you really want that game, I suppose I could hook you up.

Melinda, it would make my Hubs so happy if I wore a jersey. However, the glazed look on my face when watching the game would still be a deterant, I suspect.

Retired One, oh man, I thought for sure you would be super excited about a picture contest thingy with something cool and abstract like an Edward doll. Alas.

w said...

hook.me.up.

Aunt Shanon said...

Kearsie...Rosie the Riviter was used during WWII to get women to work while the men were overseas fighting in the war.
http://www.nps.gov/pwro/collection/website/home.htm

The Ashes said...

Target has bathing suits out now. Boyfriend pointed it out and asked why, and I said "Duh, its 10 degrees out. I want to go swimming, dont you?"

Kearsie said...

Ashes, dude, if you saw our pool right now, you might not even want to swim when it's warm. Can we say ALGAE?

I Wonder Wye said...

Oh, shit. Now that lime in the coconut song will be playing in my head all night.....

Kearsie said...

Oh man, sorry. I do that. Once, I sang "Shoo fly, don't bother me" for about an hour one day until my boss was screaming that she'd never get the song out of her head. That might explain her twitch.

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