Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Keyboard Confessions: the domesticky edition

If you're new around these here parts, I write random lists on Friday.  If you're not new around these here parts, you're just going "get on with it".  Yeah yeah, I hear you.

1.  I am a domesticky goddess.  It's true.

2.  I know this because I have made two loaves of bread this week.

3.  Also, I vacuumed.

4.  So I'm not going to win any awards, you say.  Yeah?  Well what if I tell you I'm about to WASH MY SHEETS.

5.  God, my life can't get any more exciting.

6.  I may have to do some Jillian Michaels.  I did some Jillian a few days ago and it's taken until today for my legs to work again.  No, I'm really not exaggerating.

7.  Guess what?  Jillian has no breasts.  I know this because she keeps demanding I do these ridiculous things called "jumping jacks".  Psh.  As if!!  Round these here parts we call those "holy cow where's the duct tape?"

8.  Also, I'm hoping the neighbors moved out downstairs.

9.  Have I brushed my teeth today?  Hmm.  I may be a domesticky goddess, but I'm not so good at remembering the inane like teethbrushing and what date it is.

10.  Also, I need to figure out a way to slice my homemade bread without looking like it's been through a bakery massacre.

11.  Today is National Cheesecake Day.  And if you're near a Cheesecake Factory, slices of cheesecake are half-price with dine in.

12.  Guess where I'm headed tonight?

13.  Also, if I don't get out of the house soon, I might start doing something SERIOUSLY DOMESTICKY like clean my bathtub.


15.  *weep*  I'm so bored.

16.  It's a good thing my kids fight nonstop.  *not*  At least they keep me awake.

17.  Also, I'm preparing for a vlog.  My first ever.  Because I know you're all desperate to catch a glimpse of me.  Especially where I demonstrate how to locker hook.  Not that kind of hook.

18.  Man I super need to brush my teeth.  It's a good thing I just ate some pepper jack cheese.  Such a mouth enhancer.

19.  I feel like Jesus in the beginning of that videospoofthingy.  "Just one moment of peace...please."  What videospoofthingy, you ask?  This one:

20.  AHAHAAHAHAHAAH  *wipes eyes*  oh man, that's classic.

Happy...what day is it?  Cheesecake Day?  Happy Cheesecake Day.


Anonymous said...

Bread cutting 101: Those thingys that you cut molding with. I think they are called miter boxes. Now you think I am very smart huh? Well Steve just yelled me the name as he is getting out of the shower LOL So you buy one and lay your bread sideways and slice with a super long bread knife, which I guess all bread knives are super long huh? Straight cut every time;)

Sara said...

You just need a serated knife(the kind where the edge is point-y-er and scalloped). Go slow and let the bread do most of the work. I am not domestick-y, but I am a Kitchen Goddess. That is my offical title. Ahem.

ElegantSnobbery said...

Wait. Cheesecake Day? OMG, no one told me.

*off for cheesecake*

Shelley said...

I always love your random lists!! I might have to go get me some cheesecake tonight!!

Shell said...

Cheesecake? how did I not know this????

Your Cousin said...


Keep on meaning to get this one. Supposedly NO BOUNCE whatsoever.

Only reason why I haven't is well, $60!!!!!??

I suppose if it works it's worth it.

Miss Fit said...

We have a thingy. Not sure what its called but it looks like one of those boxes magicians lay in while being sawed into pieces. Perfect slices. Without the ack. Also, wait til it cools. I know. I know. Hard to resist the warm bread.

Miss Fit said...

We have a thingy we put the bread in and saw through. With our giant bread knife.

Your Cousin said...

About the bread: wait until the loaf is cool. Not warm, cool. Make sure your knife is thin and sharp and turn the loaf on it's side.

If you want even slices there's all kinds of contraptions out there to help, but a warm loaf of bread tends to crumble and tear instead of nicely slicing.

Cutting into a hot loaf of bread can even make some loaves deflate. But a warm knee (most people call it a heel) is so worth it.

Darn. Wish I could have wheat bread.

Carrie M. said...


wow, that's a really long link. click it!

Steven said...

ok I know this is like 2 weeks late or something but everytime you post the word "domesticky" all I can picture is a very large post-it stuck to someone's head. A Dome Sticky! Ofcourse my dome-sticky has a large L for loser on it but ya know ..

Now that I have a job where I work at home I get the domesticky (your meaning) feelings and make dinner or (shock) clean the house. That way Lauren doesn't need to think about it. I'm not saying I'm any good at any of it, I just try to make it all look better than it was.

Steve Rhyne

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