It's been so long since I was a stay at home mom that I've forgotten what it's like to be a stay at home mom. I totally feel out of sorts.
For the past almost three years, I was a working mom/come home and do laundry until midnight mom. I felt continual guilt because I hadn't played Barbies and Pictureka with my kids enough. I didn't fawn on The Hubs enough. I didn't cook or bake or what have you...enough.
And now I'm back at it, as one of those at home moms. And I'm clueless as to what to do. There's only so much housework until you go crazy and become a Mommy Dearest screaming at your kids for using wire hangers.
I'm writing now. Like writing writing. Did you know that? That I harbor this quasi-secret dream of being a writer? Somedays, I convince myself I'll rock it and pump out this book and things will be totally peachy because I'll be able to afford a Dyson. And then somedays I sit and stare at my computer thinking, what the crap are you thinking?
Today's a good day. I managed to write two pages. Big deal, you scoff. Hey, you try putting sludge from your brain on cyber paper and then you can tell me it's no big deal.
But what I really want to talk about today is...
I had no idea I was a hermit until we moved here and I went to make zucchini bread but lacked about fifteen ingredients because, hello, we just moved here.
And suddenly the idea of trolling the aisles at the Walmarts was so...too much.
As I sit, I'm in my PJs and it's near noon. I'm trying to muster myself from my chair to get me and the fam ready to attempt the library. This is a big deal because it's in another town and I've never been there before.
This is different than laziness. This is Hermitness.
And heading to the library? That is huge Anti-Hermitic behavior.
Tell me, do you know what I'm talking about? Also, what's your favorite flavor of cake? Because, I think I'm going to reward myself while I'm out for conquering my Hermitness.
About That Mom Who Isn’t There
4 days ago