Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Keyboard Confessions: the rainy edition

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list.

1.  It's raining.  This isn't a confession.

2.  I hate the rain.  It makes me want to lay in bed and read all day.  This is also not a confession.  This is called "Kearsie's Saturdays".

3.  I plotted ways to take today off so I could have Saturday on Friday.  This is a confession.

4.  I am so dehydrated now that I'm fairly certain my skin is molting.  I wake up everyday scratching my neck and face off.

5.  It's not hickeys.  I promise.  It was itchies.

6.  I just had to go venture out in the rain to walk to the Courthouse.  The rain has morphed from regular rain into feeling like someone is spitting on you.

7.  You know what?  I just realized I hardly ever actually confess anything on these here confessions.

8.  It should be changed to Keyboard Nonsensical Lists.

9.  You know it's a bad day all around when someone greets you with "Hang on, I gotta use my PMS cream".

10.  Also, I wonder where I can get some PMS cream?

11.  I suspect I don't even know what a real confession is.  How about this?  I blew really hard out of my nose and a booger shot out and then I lost track of it and when it found it, it had turned into cement.

12.  See?  No one wants to hear that crap.  I'm going back to nonsensical data.

13.  Like, I bought some new razors so now it doesn't feel like I'm shaving with a butterknife.  I think the last razor I bought was back in July.

14.  Or, I suspect a load of laundry has been in the washing machine since Tuesday.

15.  Or even better, I have this casserole dish that is such a pain to put away I've just been chucking it in the oven for safekeeping.

16.  This might not be nonsensical data, just a list of ways in which I'm lazy.

17.  Wait, but see, I'm sort of confessing how I'm lazy...

18.  Well, whaddya know.  This is a list of confessions after all.  Just sort of like, you have to figure out the confession yourself. 

19.  Sorry, it's Friday and here I am making you read and think. 

20.  Maybe next week will be Keyboard Confessions: the PMS cream works edition.  I wish I knew where to find that cream...

Happy Rainy Friday.


Insanitykim said...

PMS cream stands for "Precipitation Modulator Stopper cream"...So far it's not working. I think snow is coming...

Much More Than Mommy said...

It's rainy here too
I shave ev'ry day you know
I know PMS

robin said...

kearsie? has someone slipped something into your diet coke? is a mad man there threatening to strangle you??? have you slipped and hit your head? are you bleeding? is this a confession or something called a nonsensical%#@(&^biological$%*^%* list???

Samantha said...

I too have been shaving with a butterknife since July and just bought new ones. Then I found all the ones I bought in July while I was cleaning my bathroom. Apparently I only ever used one.

Also, I guess this means I haven't really cleaned my bathroom well since July.

But I bought new toiled seats. And I thought of you when I did. Is that weird?

w said...

i know where you can get pms cream. from the same person who was using it. yeah man. she's a dealer. she asked me if i needed some.

wait. did she ask me because she wanted me to buy some... or did she ask me because she thinks i need to use it.


confession: i'm afraid to find out where you put pms cream.

The Ashes said...

I thought I had a crap razor. I bought mine in August... so I could have smooth legs on my beach vacation.
They've been stubbly ever since!

Shell said...

LOL @ the cement booger!

Too Many Hats said...

PMS cream? Is it made of chocolate? I would want some if it is. I have to shave my legs today because I am wearing a dress to a memorial service - as if going to a memorial service wasn't hard enough.

Anonymous said...

Wait, you shave in the winter? Dang, girl, you're fancy!

Jenny (of the on-the-spotness) sent me here. You are hilarious! Yet one more wonderful thing she has shown me, like glitter and Malibu rum with Coke.

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