Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Keyboard Confessions: the long lost version

It's that time again.  Time for me to perch at my compy and whip out a batch of random nothings that mean the world to me and my masses.  Or, just a list for you other folks who aren't part of that masses.

1.  So it turns out that I work best undah pressah.  Like, I could blog and write and all kinds of stuff whilst working 40+ hours a week, yet now that I'm a Lady of Leisurenessosity, I can't think up anything to write that doesn't involve boogers.

2.  So, I enrolled my kids in school and applied for a job.

3.  Hahahaha, wait, lest you think I did all that just to keep my poor blog afloat, I did no such thing.  Ahem.

4.  Guess what?  I shall have to take out a small loan to afford all the school supplies for my kids, and guess what?  None of the supplies are on sale like back in August.  Alas.  Also, one of them needs 20 glue sticks.  20.  I'm pretty sure that means they're eating it for snack.

5.  Tonight, I have a job interview.  I might be Restoring some Hardware, ifyouknowhatImean.  Also, some of you might not have that store in your local mall.  So that sentence made not one lick of sense to you.

6.  Also, guess what?  I got rid of almost all my work attire upon moving here, because I needed the room for my yarn and books.  So guess what?  I shall have to be creative in my interview outfit.  I wonder if my Life Is Good Tshirts are considered dressy?

7.  Pizza dough, that's what I'm making today.  Also, I was a wee bit heavy handed in my garlic additions today.  Also, I'm planning on freezing my dough, so therefore, my ice cubes just might taste a bit Italian.

8.  I love love love that my modest Keyboard Confessions has hit the innernets like a kangaroo running from poachers.  I know at least 5 people that do them now.  I feel such the trendsetter.  And proud too.

9.  Also, guess what?  I almost cried whilst applying for employment at my local mall.  I mean, I have a college degree for pete's sake and I'll be lucky to make minimum wage.  What is wrong with this picture?

10.  However, that Subaru Forrester shall be mine, I say.  MINE.

11.  When me and the Hubs first moved here, we used to play a game called "who can spot the most Subarus".  It got old real fast because guess what?  I'm pretty sure the Subaru is the state car of the Coloradoes.  It was like "there's a Subaru, there's a Subaru, there's a Subaru, there's a Subaru, there's another....this is boring."

12.  I owned a Subaru for five days once upon a time before it was stolen at a dollar theater parking lot.  It's a thrilling, gripping story, I tell you.  Fear not, I got it back.  Eventually.

13.  Also, here in the Coloradoes?  Guess what?  You can't live here without blowing your nose at least three times a day because of the boogers.  It's true.  Ask anyone here.

14.  Actually, don't ask just anyone, because only a few select members of the Coloradoes are probably secure enough in our coolness to discuss boogers freely.  I am a member and I'm proud of it, I tell you.

15.  But just here on the innernets, people.  Not in real life because I got a rep to protect.  Also, I'm not really sure what that rep is, but it's something importanty.  Also, if someone talked to me about boogers in real life, my Hubs would so be facepalming.  It's true.  Ask anyone here.

16.  I made homemade dishwasher detergent.  I'll bet you're dying for me to share the recipe, aren't you? You can't get enough of my tutorials.

17.  Speaking of tutorials, I'm still planning my tutorial on How To Be A Lockerhooker.  You can't wait, can you?

18.  You know what I'll miss the most about being with my kids nonstop?  The fighting.  Their nonstop, incessant, daily, hourly bickeringfightingnamecallingsometimesslapping.  I shall shed a tear, I tell you.

19.  Except if I shed a tear, there might be an increase in the abovereferenced boogers.  I shall have to chew gum to distract myself from the tears/boogers.

20.  Unless I bite my tongue whilst chewing the gum.  There shall be tears.  And we've come full circle.

Have an amazing and booger free weekend, my friends.

5 comments:

ElegantSnobbery said...

Yes, I wiped away many boogers when I was waving at you from Durango!

Dee Crowe said...

Lockerhooker eh? I am intriqued...and...and...well I'm intriqued

Shauna said...

I must know about this lockerhooker you speak of. You've intrigued me. You had me at 'hello'. You complete me.

Miss Fit said...

I probably won't learn locker hooking 'til your tutorial. I've wanted a forrester for a whiles. Having 3 kids in car/booster seats wasn't condusive. Perhaps soon that dream will come true. They are cool.

Amber said...

While reading this list I wanted to comment on so many things... 1. I'm glad you're proud that we all stole your blog-dea 2. I played the same game with Suburus when I moved to OR but decided I'd have more fun looking for cars that were NOT subarus because they were rare-er. 3. boogers are gross but I'll still talk about them with you. 4. Tell us about the locker hooker.

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