Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Keyboard Confessions: the employed edition

So it's that time again.  Not time for ladydoctor appointments.  Not time for eyebrow maintenance.  It's time for nonsensical ramblings here on the cyber papers, known as The Blog.

1.  I have had an amazing week.  You're curious, aren't you? Just what happened this week, you ask?  Well, let me indulge you, inquisitive reader.  I am employed.

2.  I've been in training.  And at the end of the evening, I staggered home and attempted to collect the brain pudding leaking from my facial orifices, in hopes I don't forget said training.  Because dude, there's a ton of info stuffed into this here head of mine.  I work for a great company.

3.  And on Sunday? I get to touch cashmere.  It's ok to be uber jealous of me, folks.  I am pretty rock star.

4.  Except, guess what?  I need shoes.  NEED SHOES.  Because this here set of feet of mine are dying.  DYING, I SAY.

5.  Also, give it up for lunch dates with the Hubs.  Sans children.  WOOT.  I wonder how he feels today about sushi?  Or lasagna.  Or an omelet.  I'm not picky.

6.  This morning, whilst escorting my children to their bus stop, I had the most intriguing conversation with an Indian girl about Indian cuisine.  I discovered that my taste buds are still in their baby phase.  I have had nary an exotic dish from the Land of India.  So, my fair and learned readers, what Indian dish should I try?

7.  Keep in mind that I'm a total wimp with spiciness.  I'm sure babies in India suck on dollops of flaming lumps of spicy things, but this here sister cannot handle it.

8.  But you know what this sister can down?  Ice cream.  Yep.  Chocolate and Peanut Butter Baskin Robbins.

9.  My cold is here to live, I think.  Yep, practically setting up a house in my lungs as we speak, organizing a Home Owners Organization.  Mowing the lawn.  Here to stay.

10.  So, one of the best things about where I work?  There are Twilight lovers.  So, I can talk freely about my Edward doll with nary a "ohmygawd, she is cah-razy" look.  Now if only they know about Star Wars, I have found employment heaven.

11.  Also, there's other knitters.  So therefore, I can get my knit on in the breakroom.

12.  Also, I told you I would post self-pumpupedness pictures from crafts I've done.  Well guess what?  I have nary a pic to share.  Try not to hurt yourself breathing in relief.

13.  Maybe pancakes for lunch.

14.  For reasons I've yet to discover, I spent an hour watching videos of removing boils from people's backs.  Also, I'm fairly certain there's bad grammar in there somewhere.

15.  So me and the Hubs have been learning about Henry VIII.  He was kind of a douche.

16.  Also, I've been trolling the innernets to find out of Clarice from Steel Magnolias was correct when she said Anne Boleyn had six fingers.  Any English Tudor smarties out there know the answer to that?

17.  Also, did you know that King Henry had two wives named Anne and three named Catherine (or Katherine)?  I'll bet he got confused.  Probably why he hacked so many of their heads off or divorced them.

18.  Also, I secretly wonder if anyone in England is trolling the innernets to discover the history behind famousy Americans.  Like Madonna.  Or Mitch Hedberg.

19.  Also, I like to eat Kit Kats unless I'm with four or more people.

20.  Also, here's a nod to you Mitch Hedberg fans:  we went to the Cracker Barrels the other day and submitted our name "Dufrane, party of 5".  I'm pretty sure we were the only ones to got that joke.

Have an excellent comedy filled and executionless weekend, my friends.

10 comments:

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i ate 2 super large kit kats just last night. and i am a bit of a henry viii fan, named my son after him, not really, but still. yes it is widely proclaimed that she had an extra finger, like a protrusion off of her pinky finger, which many used as evidence to claim she was a witch. i think she was just an overambitious girl and she fascinates me.

the more you know

Teisha said...

I yelled at Hubs for eating the last Kit Kat the other night. The nerve! Also, I would love to try Indian food but will never work up the nerve to cook it. It will have to be take out some night.

Removing boils from people's backs? VOMIT!

Lauren said...

You are much nicer than me because I will eat ALL of my kit kat with no regard of how many people are around.

I'm glad you found a job where you can freely discuss Twilight! It makes the day awesome!

Sara said...

Dude- Anne Boleyn totally had six fingers. But not in a she's missing 4 kind of way, but a she's got an extra on one hand kind of way. So 11 total. Well, nine fingers and two thumbs. The reason I have this info? An unfortunate choice to work at a Renaissance Faire as a teenager...

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

FB me. Sasha Brodeur. :)

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Found you via Leigh vs. Laundry (where your wit stomped mine in the "Sexy Lady" caption contest, hehe) and I'm loving it! Hi!

Yes, Anne Boleyn did indeed have six fingers ... and I'm only about 90% sure of this, but I do recall reading something about a third boob as well ... or at least an extraneous nipple or two. Sista had issues. Although I guess those issues pale in comparison to the ones she had with her husband! Yikes!

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

I LOVE Indian food. Anything curry... anything Tandoori. Yum. :)

Your Cousin said...

My favorite indian dishes:
Yellow Curry (mild, with coconut milk) with just about any protein. (this is easy to cook too)
Curried lentils (yellow and mild again) with rice. <- this is teh AWESOME
When I could have it, naan.
Mutter paneer or palak paneer if you like spinach
Chicken tikka masala
REAL chai with boiled milk and sugar, not that premixed stuff.

jennyonthespot said...

You make me laugh. The end.

From Tracie said...

Employed is good. Leaking brain pudding does not sound very positive, but I'm sure you have lots of extra brain going on up there to make up for it.

Cashmere? Yum! okay...not yum like I want to eat it, but yum like it sounds deliciously soft.

How about fried pickles?

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Baskin Robbins....we are BFFy. It is solid now that I have read that.

You knit?? I knit!! I love knitting!!

(this is the best list ever!)

Bring on the craft pictures!!

I always wonder that about Anne Boleyn when I watch Steel Magnolias. Which is often. Sometimes my husband and I just reenact different scenes with each other. We are strange. And we really love that movie.

#19...that if fine. Just bring the Kit Kats and you and I can eat them together. With ice cream.

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