Clearly I was meant to write song lyrics.
Yes, my friends. The time has come. I shall undergo the Big Scary Knife Or Whatever Doctors Use For Surgical Procedures These Days tomorrow.
Have I mentioned I'm a big fan of Unnecessary Capitalization?
So. I shan't be on the innernets much in the following days or whatever. I plan to perch on my sofa with a pile of books and cans of Diet Coke and jars of applesauce as I recover from a boobalactomy. Nay, that's not the right word, but have I mentioned I am a big fan of Made Uppy Words?
Some of you have asked for before and after pictures. I gulped quite a few times as I pondered this. For Me and The Front of the Camera do not play well together. Because She's Mean. But I shall think about your kind requests and go through piles of pictures of Before The Knife. Because I've got years of them, people. Years. Have I mentioned I've been wanting this surgery since I was 13? Nay? Well. There you go. An extra special glimpse into my life.
Wish me luck. If you're the praying kind of folk, pray that I'm not one of those minute ratio of people who don't do well with anesthesia. Or you know, die or whatever. What, have I not mentioned I can be macabre?
Also, who wants to attend my Burn The Giant Brassieres Party?
To My Friends Who Try to Sell Me Things on Facebook
19 hours ago