Sometimes I write confessions because I feel The Muse. Today, The Muse has spoken.
1. So, Breast Cancer is Crazy.
2. My boosies look awesome. I'm going to enjoy them while I can. This is not to be taken in a naughty way. Also, shame on you for thinking that.
3. Or maybe you weren't thinking that and now you are thinking that and you're like, dang, why did you have to say that?
4. Sorry, kind reader.
5. So, I'm sitting here in my bathing suit. Why? Because it fits. And, it's padded. hahahaahahaha, still laughing that it's padded. Also, this is the swimsuit I said eons ago that when I tried it on it was like shoving an apple into a condom. Remember that? Well, I'm not hunting for that link.
6. Man, this post is turning into smut. Also, for the record, I've never shoved an apple into a condom.
7. Back on South Beach Diet. Combining weight I lost in surgery and weight I lost this week, I'm down 10 lbs. I know, pretty rock star.
8. I got a free camisole from Nordstrom today because I'm getting a total mastectomy. Very cool service they provide for us ladies in the need. This camisole will have little pocket thingies for the drainage tube thingies. I love the word thingies.
9. Also? I'll get my hair washed for free as well after surgery. That is going to be awesome. Because before? My last surgery? I didn't get to shower for like, 5 days. It was sicknasty.
10. I have a date tonight. Also my kids will be at a sleepover. Is it too late for me and The Hubs to get passports?
11. In fact, I need to put on real clothes for said date. I don't suppose my padded bra swimsuit is good movie theater attire. This isn't Miami Beach. Also, for the record, I've never been to Miami Beach.
12. Today I got a light up Michael Jackson glove in the mail. I was so excited for it that it made my kids want it. Too bad, suckas!!
13. Just kidding. I'll let them touch my glove a little. Some day.
14. I have a big pimple on my chin. It seems unfair that I must battle acne AND breast cancer. Can't I catch a break?
15. I need a haircut. That is all.
16. I lied. I have more to say. Can I sap out for a moment? Thank you, kindly. A huge thank you to any and all people who have been so very encouraging to me during this crazy time. For you ladies (and my sweet Hubs) who let me blather on about all things BC (Breast Cancer, duh) and all the encompassing worry. For not lecturing, for not saying inappropriate things**, for saying all the right things...you ladies are awesome. I hope you know who you are. I couldn't make it through this without you.
17. I've also decided to do my best to answer any questions that anyone might have. So, if you're sitting there, reading this post or past posts and are confused, or full of questions, please feel free to ask me anything. If you want to remain anonymous, just ask under an anonymous name and I'll do my best to give you the info you need. So, fire away.
18. Hmm. I'm tapped out after this one, I think. It's been a weird week, so, cut me some slack on my lack of creativity.
**such as "I know this lady who died of cancer and if she'd eaten better she'd still be alive so watch what you eat". Yes, this is inappropriate. Well meaning, but still inappropriate. For the record, this really happened.