Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, June 3, 2011

One day this will all just be a distant mammary

Many thanks to my brother in law, Danny, for that little piece of witticism.

Warning:  this post is being written under the influence of narcotics.  Anything I say cannot be held against me.

So the surgery went fine, obvi.  This is not my ghost perched at my computer, my sexy anti-embolism stocking clad feet resting uncomfortably up on my bed, per Nurse Hub's instructions.  He takes those rules the surgery nurses gave him uber seriously.

It's pretty crazy, y'all, because as I was being wheeled to where the surgery would take place and the nurse was setting my IV up with some wonderful drug that made me say out loud "I'm beginning to feel something...zzzzzzz"...

...all of a sudden I woke up in recovery.

Anesthesia.  It's pretty much the bomb.

My eyes were goopy and so heavy it took ages to finally raise, but I noticed a different nurse standing beside my bed.  And Momma didn't raise no impolite fool so I slurred out "We haven't met before, how're you?"

And she had the nerve to laugh at me.  Hmpf.  At lease I know that even in my most druggiest state, I can still be non-wenchy.  Always good to know, that.

So it turns out that they removed 6.25 pounds from my bosomy area.  That's a lot, folks.  You need something to compare it to?  Go to your kitchen pantry and pull out your 5 pound bag of sugar.  I know, that's a lot, huh?

Now I'm all wrapped up in this really sexy ace bandage with crazy long tubes, full of goopy red goo.  I try not to dwell on it's contents.  Neither should you.

Also?  My soft gel laxatives haven't started working yet.  You probably shouldn't dwell on that either.  Perhaps I should avoid talking at all whilst under the influence of Vicatin.

On that TMI note, peace out and have a righteous Friday.

8 comments:

Insanitykim said...

So glad all is ok! Yay! :)

Marisa Hopkins said...

YAY you made it! YOU'RE ALIVE! I'm so happy that your chestal region is lighter! and that you're wrapped in sexy bandages and even sexier tubes.

Recover quickly!! I need to read me some more of your drivel (hey, I'm using YOUR crazy words, not my gushy hearts and stars and love for Kearsie words)

w said...

i'm glad you're good. also. i hope the 6.25 was split between the two bibbidies. and not like 5 off one and 1.25 off the other. because that wouldn't be kosher.

Laura said...

Hi, just found your blog through Lifes Recipe. Glad everything went okay today. I'm your newest follower!

Beth Zimmerman said...

Great title! Glad to hear you're feeling up to blogging already! Hope the pain meds continue to work their magic!

Shelley said...

Glad it went well!! I can sort of relate to this except I went bigger :-). That's the fastest you will ever lose that much weight!! ;-) I hope you feel better soon!

Sara said...

I'm glad all is well- or at least well enough to write about it. I hope that you're resting comfortably, and taking it easy.

As far as the red goo filled tubes, that sounds really hot. For real. Paired with anti embolism stockings and you're ready for a night out :-)

Feel better my friend!!

Teisha said...

Congrats on the new boobs! I want some, but in the other sense of new boobs. Can you send me that 6.5 pounds of your's? Thanks.

Can't wait to see pictures!

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