Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Leaking, our holiday tradition

I am a leaker.

This is not a fancy way for saying I have a gas problem.

This is also not a fancy way of saying I can't keep secrets. Tell me you're pregnant and I'll never utter a word. Tell me you're throwing a surprise party for someone and I'll keep it all to myself. Tell me you met Robert Pattinson and he asked for your phone number and I'll probably hate your guts and be so filled with envy I can't look you in the eyeball for a year, but I'll keep your secret.

What I mean is that I am a leaker of what gift I got for you. I am just so excited for this thing I think you will love, and I have to tell you. Or really strongly hint.

Like when The Hubs and I had our first Christmas, I went out and bought a really nice watch. Then I came home an hour later and gave it to him. No matter that Christmas was like, 3 weeks away, I just wanted to give it to him RIGHT THEN.

Mostly now I try the casual question approach: "what do you think about Eddie Bauer blue jeans/Bible commentaries/fishing lures/the movie Saving Private Ryan, etc.?"

And he's totally onto me.

My kids do it too. Because that's what kids do. One year, we got Daddy some of those awesome temperpedic slippers and when we came home my youngest said "I won't tell you what we got for you, Daddy, it's not slippers." Well, they learned it from me, what can I say?

But this year, I've kept it all in. Mostly because The Hubs was standing right there when I purchased his gifts, but whatever. Small victories. I kept it all in.

However, this year The Hubs was the leaker.

See, all I wanted for Christmas this year was yarn. But then I changed that to some books. But then I changed that to a storage ottoman.

I live in a tee tiny apartment. It's tiny. You can kind of see it here. And there is always junk around. Mostly my junk, and mostly craft junk. So I thunk to myself one day, man if I had a storage ottoman I could hide my junk and have a nice decorative thing to place my feet on at night whilst watching The Office reruns.

So after I thunk to myself all that, I told The Hubs, "Dude, I really want a storage ottoman." And he was all "Ok. I really want an HDTV." And I was all "You're smoking crack. But you're cute." And he was all "I'm really hungry." And I was all "Then go eat something." And then it turned into a whole different conversation. That's how we roll in our house.

So when I came home yesterday and saw The Hubs and my two girls all peeking out of the bedroom door with cheeseball grins, I knew they had gone Shopping for Mommy. And it wasn't two hours later before The Hubs finally caved and busted into his hiding place to bring out my Christmas gift. Which was, you guessed it, a storage ottoman!!

It's so purty. Want to see? Of course you do.

I told you, purty. And we can use it as a coffee table thingy too.

And there's plenty of room for my crafty junk.

Or a small child.

Just kidding.

So, Merry Christmas to me. And My Hubs. Who no longer has to put his long and lanky legs all over mine on our tiny loveseat.


Insanitykim said...

Hahhhahaa this was awesome.

Very nice ottoman. Good call leaking that one. My kids are working hard to keep their mouths shut regarding gifts, but, it's easier for them with that duct tape over their mouths...

Much More Than Mommy said...

They did an excellent job! I love it!

My eldest daughter was the leaker this year -- she told me what The Husband got me. She can't tell him what *I* got him, because I haven't gotten him anything yet. I'm either really bad at picking gifts for him, or I'm a genius when it comes to figuring out how to keep secrets in this house!

Amy said...

I am especially excited for you because I saw this very same ottoman in the store and told my husband that I needed it. He did not buy it and sneak it into the house, though. He told me that we had too much furniture already and the kids would take the trays/lids away and we would never see them again. He was right about both things, but still...

The Ashes said...

Holy. Crap. I need one of those.

You think your apartment is tiny, I should take pics of mine.

My kitchen is smaller and so is my bedroom, and I dont share it with kids. There wouldnt be room for a bunk bed.

Also, I am very jealous of your bookshelves!!! We have two small ones from WalMart.

Kearsie said...

Just wait, my dear friend, once you have kids your possessions multiply by like 90 percent. And take my advice and stay away from Happy Meal toys. Because they mate in the night. And multiply. Often.

robin said...

i used to bb leaker, but i think i have gotten better over the years. however, i was ITCHIN' to give you your stuff the minute i landed in alabama. that's why i was always like "when is your little birthday party going to be huh? huh??" cause i was all anxious to unload the shtuff.

ScoMan said...

My brothers always try to get me to leak or hint but I'm like a vault. My poker face is solid.

The ottoman (is that was it was? I forget, it had a fancy name) looks very nice. I'm sure you've had the perfect place for it picked out for quite some time.

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