This is not a fancy way for saying I have a gas problem.
This is also not a fancy way of saying I can't keep secrets. Tell me you're pregnant and I'll never utter a word. Tell me you're throwing a surprise party for someone and I'll keep it all to myself. Tell me you met Robert Pattinson and he asked for your phone number and I'll probably hate your guts and be so filled with envy I can't look you in the eyeball for a year, but I'll keep your secret.
What I mean is that I am a leaker of what gift I got for you. I am just so excited for this thing I think you will love, and I have to tell you. Or really strongly hint.
Like when The Hubs and I had our first Christmas, I went out and bought a really nice watch. Then I came home an hour later and gave it to him. No matter that Christmas was like, 3 weeks away, I just wanted to give it to him RIGHT THEN.
Mostly now I try the casual question approach: "what do you think about Eddie Bauer blue jeans/Bible commentaries/fishing lures/the movie Saving Private Ryan, etc.?"
And he's totally onto me.
My kids do it too. Because that's what kids do. One year, we got Daddy some of those awesome temperpedic slippers and when we came home my youngest said "I won't tell you what we got for you, Daddy, it's not slippers." Well, they learned it from me, what can I say?
But this year, I've kept it all in. Mostly because The Hubs was standing right there when I purchased his gifts, but whatever. Small victories. I kept it all in.
However, this year The Hubs was the leaker.
See, all I wanted for Christmas this year was yarn. But then I changed that to some books. But then I changed that to a storage ottoman.
I live in a tee tiny apartment. It's tiny. You can kind of see it here. And there is always junk around. Mostly my junk, and mostly craft junk. So I thunk to myself one day, man if I had a storage ottoman I could hide my junk and have a nice decorative thing to place my feet on at night whilst watching The Office reruns.
So after I thunk to myself all that, I told The Hubs, "Dude, I really want a storage ottoman." And he was all "Ok. I really want an HDTV." And I was all "You're smoking crack. But you're cute." And he was all "I'm really hungry." And I was all "Then go eat something." And then it turned into a whole different conversation. That's how we roll in our house.
So when I came home yesterday and saw The Hubs and my two girls all peeking out of the bedroom door with cheeseball grins, I knew they had gone Shopping for Mommy. And it wasn't two hours later before The Hubs finally caved and busted into his hiding place to bring out my Christmas gift. Which was, you guessed it, a storage ottoman!!
It's so purty. Want to see? Of course you do.
So, Merry Christmas to me. And My Hubs. Who no longer has to put his long and lanky legs all over mine on our tiny loveseat.