Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Keybored Confessions - The Intentional Typo Edition

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly it's just an excuse to write a list. 

1.  I have exactly one week before I have my very last day of work.  I confess that I'm relieved/sad/scared we'll starve.

2.  I'm thinking of giving up Diet Coke.  I confess each time I cradle and make out with a can of Diet Coke, I croon "I'll never quit you".  Except I might be lying.  Because it's not good for me.

3.  This is just like the Reese's Cup Obsession of 2009.  It was tough and I went through withdrawls, but I did, in fact, quit them.  I confess that sometimes I dream of the silky smooth peanut buttery goodness.

4.  For the very first time, I was asked to guest post on my buddy Vanessa's blog.  It happened this past Monday.  Guess what I did?  If you guessed Keyboard Confessions, you deserve a Klondike Bar.  I confess I never eat Klondike Bars, although I cast them about in everyday conversations.  Also, if you read my guest post, beware.  I use the word "vaginal".  Aaaaand now the pornbots have found me.  Yay.

5.  Recently, a family member made this comment about my post on Monday about The Queen and boogers:
that's gross, but somehow appropriate for your blog.
6.  I laughed and laughed. And then felt kind of sad.  I confess I'm beginning to question the legacy I'm leaving my children. 

7.  Also, if I died today, what would be said in my eulogy?  "Well, she made some good booger jokes."  I confess, this makes me want to take stock of my life.  Maybe I need to throw in some that's what she said jokes, just to mix it up.  Also, my coworker was very surprised I was capable of making a TWSS joke.  Dude, it's not that hard.  That's what she said.  See? 

8.  I wonder if I'll ever be asked to guest post again?  Or interview.  I'm not picky.  Ask me a question, I'll lay it on you. 

9.  Words, that's what I'll lay on you, guttermind.  Or some lotion, because you're ashy.  It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again. 

10.  I confess that I read the book for Silence of the Lambs.  Because the movie just wasn't near scary enough. 

11.  Man I want some Diet Coke.  I ain't quittin you!  maybe.

12.  Ooh!  Guess what? In one month, I'll be sniffing the blue skies of Superior, Colorado!  I'm assuming the blue skies there smell of jasmine with undertones of sugar cookies.  Or really clean air.  One of those two.  Also, you wanna see my new digs?  Of course you do!

13.  You know what else is cool?  I think I get to meet in real life Tristan from The Transient Pod!  I know, she might have a shank or a switchblade or something skeery.  But I have some hand sanitizer so I'm ok.  Also, if she's really scary, I'll just sic my kids on her and they'll kill her with whining and fighting.  Or at least make her ears bleed.  I confess I feel protected by the magical power of bratty kids. 

14.  According to my youngest daughter, she loves me one bar more than my Hubs.  Whatever that means.  I'm betting it's good.  I confess I feel smug typing this. 

15.  I'm going to have to do it, folks.  Pack, that is.  Mostly this is because all our broken down boxes are stacked up next to my dresser keeping me from reaching my underwear drawer.  I confess I'm thinking of just buying new underwear.  I really hate packing.

16.  You know what else I hate?  Radio talk shows.  I confess I feel intellectually boring.  Also, I feel intellectually dumb as I had to look up on the googles how to spell intellectually.  Just kidding.  mostly.

17.  It'll take us a couple of days to drive our moving truck to Colorado.  This is our family vacation.  Guess which route we'll take?  KANSAS.  I know.  I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.  Also, any of you awesome readers from Kansas?  Anything fun and adventuresome in Kansas?  *crickets chirping*

18.  Apple iPhone 4g.  Yes please.  I confess this makes me feel covety.

19.  iPrecious will be sad.  I shall sit here and cradle and stroke my iPrecious and coo "I'll never quit you".  until i get an iPhone 4g.

20.  I'm feeling ashy.  I rub the lotion on my skin, and sign off until we meet again.

Happy Friday.


Creative Junkie said...

I real the Silence of the Lambs book too! Because I always like the book better than the movie anyway.

That lotion line still freaking creeps me out every time I hear it. *shudder*

Sara said...


have no idea where to start with this one. There was a lot here.

Also there's a small chance I'm going camping (yeah, I know) this summer and will need guest posts. That was your 2nd heads up of the day from me.

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

laughing from beginning to end you ashy, moving, coke addict. Wait, that didn't come out quite as I thought it would...

Somehow I think you get me though.


Katherine said...

I don't think I could ever give up my Diet Coke...except that mine is Coke Zero. I'm drinking one now! Good luck with the move!

The Retired One said...

No, NO you cannot give up Diet Coke..!
Everyone deserves a treat and if that is yours, go for it!
I lived in Topeka Kansas for a year. Flat. Very. Flat. And if the crickets chirp, that's the most excitement you'll have there. ha
Your new digs look fantastic because of the mountains. Wow. I want more pictures!

Shelley said...

I love your lists! I am so glad I followed you after your guest post!

Beth said...

You're so funny! I've never read (or watched) Silence of the Lambs but I still enjoyed your comic relief!

ElegantSnobbery said...

Oh RAD. Thanks to my multiple BRA comments, I am officially your top commenter. I deserve some kind of award for that, Kearsie. Just sayin'

ElegantSnobbery said...

Also, I'm adding a little bonus comment, here, just to keep my title as #1 Blog Commenter locked firmly in place.

Much More Than Mommy said...

I will ask you to guest post again. Vaginal skin tags are only good for one post, I think.

P.S. Anonymous comments are strange!

MiMi said...

I love your lists.
I love Vanessa.
I love your list on Vanessa's blog. :)

KLZ said...

You, me and diet coke are in the same boat. And it seems likely that you and I may capsize that boat fighting over diet coke.

Double Wide Mom said...

thanks for your honesty. I feel your pain. any pain. its a strange ability I have. I need to go rub some lotion on it. I'm getting ashy.

w said...

surprise! i'm over here now!

only you will know what that means.

w said...

people said i was uncool because i don't have an iphone.

maybe it's true.

and there's a confession right there.

w said...

one bar more of chocolate is good.

one bar more of alcohol, not so good.

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