Reporting live from Durham, NC

WHAAAAAAT?

You heard me, folks!  Assuming there are plural amounts of people reading this!

We are now living in the Carolinas.  Specifically of the Northern variety.  Also, I haven't had to use a switchblade yet living here in Durham.  So.

Let me back up a bit.  *insert loud beeping sound reminiscent of large trucks in reverse*

See, the Hubs and I were discussing life and such in late March.  And we decided that our time in the Colorados was at an end and that my Hubs' brain needed more info to cram into it and such.  And that we should move back to the area with which his scholastic career began- er, continued, which is here in NC.  He will pursue his PhD and such.  So we began the process of sifting through the earthly possessions we, erm, possessed, and gave away/got rid of/burned in a bonfire of magnificent proportions most of those aforesaid earthly possessions.  Also, the aforementioned bonfire did not, in fact, exist.  Except in my mind.  For I think that arson would've made this whole packing thing way easier.

We purged.  Not that kind of purging.  The Hoarders kind.  It was tough.  It was cleansing.  I even gave away the first blanket I ever made my daughter.  We also donated an entire trunkful of books to the Human Society thrift store.  I think they shed a tear or two.

It was tough.  Yet we pressed on, and packed many a box of books and clothing and myriads of stuffed animals that my daughters could not part with.  And we shoved all those aforesaid boxes into a small Uhaul and we began the trek across country to our future home in NC.

Perhaps I should mention that we had not exactly found a place to live yet.  Because we are Chez Murphy and that's how we roll.  But my sister in law kindly opened her home to us and after three var var longish days of sitting behind the wheel of my car, staring at the back of Lance's Uhaul, singing each and every song listed in my iPrecious, we found our way here.

Might I also just mention that I have clown hair here in the NC?  Yes.  I am considering dying it so that I have a polka dot afro.  I feel it is culturally relevant to our times.   I had forgotten about the humidity here.

And so, after a brief beach interlude with our entire family, we trekked back to Durham and hobbled and minced our way to many apartment homes (hobbling and mincing because of a dreadful sunburn), and finally, we found our home.  It is a town home.  And while some areas smell suspiciously of cat pee, we have deposited our meager possessions and spread them around.

Then we went to IKEA.

That is a post all by itself.

My entryway is littered with piles of cardboard.

I think I shall stop there.  For now.

Keyboard Confessions

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly this is just an excuse to write a list.

1.  My Hubs is home.  I am soooo glad.

2.  But wait, you're saying, I didn't even know he was gone!  I know, confusified reader.  It's because I kept that little snippet of info to myself.

3.  Hello, I had just moved to a random town in a new state precisely 900 bajillion miles away from Alabama, live in this crowded complex and was going to be home alone with my two kids.  I totally wasn't going to alert the possible killer neighbor that I was spouseless for 10 whole days, was I?

4.  Of course, now the possible killer neighbor can just come and kill us whilst my Hubs is home.  I hadn't thought of that...

5.  Well, don't worry, worried reader.  I tried to bake some zucchini bread to share with my immediate neighbors, you know, to make them like me and not kill me and hate my kids because they jump instead of walk and stuff, only we live a whole mile above sea level and so therefore my zucchini bread was zucchini bricks.  So, I can always toss a brick at any creepified neighbor.

6.  Seriously, I had to shave the outer layer of the loaf to even find something soft enough to nibble.  Also, because both loaves were not giveable, I had to nibble both loaves.

7.  I bought some shorts.  I know, I'm shocked at my crazy behavior too.

8.  Except, guess what?  The zipper was broken in one of the pairs only I didn't know it until AFTER I came home from an afternoon spent at Chick-fil-A.  I know.  It's a good thing I was wearing bright colored panties so the whole restaurant could see them whilst I was asking for a refill of Diet Coke.

9.  Humility.  Thank you, God, for reminding me to heed my mother's advice and wear clean underwear.

10.  Hubs is home.  This means that I have three people to clean up after now instead of two.  It's a good thing he's so cute and I'm so glad he's home.

11.  No one is digging my Ode.  Except for a few sweet friends, including my awesome friend Marisa, who wrote this awesome short story.  She's way going to be famousy one day, folks.  You just wait.

12.  I've been to our library now three times in one week.  It's like I don't have a life or something.

13.  Also, it's possible I was a wee bit over zealous with my newly acquired library card.  There are seven books on my bedside table.  Seven.  It's like I don't have a life or something.

14.  De ja vu.  It's like I've said that before or something.

15.  I don't know how to do that cute little mark above the de ja vu.

16.  There's an IKEA six hours from me.  I way need to make a road trip.

17.  Anyone speak Swedish?

18.  Also, I hear they pass out meatballs.  This is good.  Now I can just spend my food money on more furniture.

19.  Also, how do you say "Oh man, you got any Febreze?" in Swedish?

20.  Time to go eat a burger.  My life is practically a novel in it's utter coolness.

Peace out, yo.

Keyboard Confessions - The Last Day of Work Edition

Every week I sit down and confess some things.  Mostly this is just an excuse to write a list.

1.  Here at Legal Importanty Office it's my very last day of work.  Haha, actually, just the last day I'll get PAID to work.  Because this sister doesn't get a dime for washing underwears at home.  Unless I find a dime in the dirty clothes.  It's mine.  Mine, I say.  My Diet Cokes don't come cheap.

2.  I had an awful dream the other night that I had to drive through streets filled with powdered sugar.  Apparently, powdered sugar is really slippery.

3.  In that dream, I could only afford to feed my kids Top Ramen and I only was able to drink the broth.  I woke up from that dream thinking "Huh.  Well, not a bad idea."

4.  My coworker, you know, the one who tried to make us all fat with Sun Drop Cake?  Yeah, her.  She asked me the other day what I'd miss from Alabama. I got to thinking.  You know what I'll miss?  Humidity. 

5.  PSYCH. 

6.  My sweet coworkers gave me some going away gifts yesterday.  Guess what one of the gifts they gave me?

7.  Ohhhh yeahhhhhh.  Me and my Snuggie and my booklight will be doing some serious chillage.  Except, guess what?  We won't even have a couch when we move.  So it'll be me, my Snuggie and my booklight chilling on my camping chair doing some serious chillage.  You know you're jealous of my life.  I would be too.  I'll be sipping on some Top Ramen broth, too. 

8.  I'm getting my hairs cut.  The normal hairs.  The ones on the top of my noggin.  It's time.  Time, I say.  Because right now I feel like this:

9.  Except, guess what I do with my hairs everyday?  This:

10.  So what's the point, I ask you? 

11.  Fall of 2011, my Hubs and I have a date with IKEA.  Then, winter of 2011, my Hubs and I have a date with a marriage counselor because of all our fighting whilst putting together furniture from IKEA.  It's good to plan ahead, right? 

12.  Homeschool.  A chance to decide if I should make alcohol a part of my life. 

13.  PSYCH.  maybe.

14.  I'm thinking of making a whole bunch of homemade cinnamon rolls for my new neighbors.  Wouldn't it suck, though, if they're all healthy type folks with diabetes?  Maybe I should pass out fruit roll ups or Sorbees.  I need to think on this.

15.  All you non-healthy folks don't know what Sorbees are.  They're a sugar free candy company.  I hope their candy tastes better now than it did back in 1986.  *shudder*

16.  Beach Towel Snuggie.  For people who don't want to be seen in a bathing suit but still enjoy the beach. 

17.  GENIUS.

18.  12 more days until Eclipse. I've got my tickets in my bag.  Oh yes I do.  *cabbage patch*  Also, it might be the very last date I go on with my Hubs seeing as how we know not one soul where we're moving. I plan on splurging on popcorn AND Twizzlers.  This sister knows how to party, I tell you.

19.  I'm trying to clean out my cupboards and freezer before we move.  So at some point, I'll be serving a fine meal to my family consisting of salmon, canned pumpkin and a tin of sardines. 

20.  It kind of makes you happy I'll have Top Ramen to fall back on, huh?

Happy Weekend.