Who Am I?

Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.

Monday, July 25, 2011

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...dee del dee dee

Ok.  Mildly inappropriate.  Seeing as how I'm referring to my boosies.

So.  Shall I give you a glimpse into Chez Murphy and all it's glorious goings on?  Well, if you insist...

I shall type it in a list format.  For I miss my lists.

1.  I've had two "fills" in my expanders and it feels like I'm wearing a coconut bra.  Seriously.  These things are hard as rocks.  Well, rocks covered in flesh.  And I still have a billion more fills to go.

2.  A few days ago I discovered how to lay on my side in bed at night.  This was a joyous occasion seeing as how I was using borderline profanity at night, trying to find a comfortable position.  It only takes me five, maybe six pillows.  It's like I made a nest.  But I can sleep, so, I shall nest away.

3.  I amend that previous statement- I can sleep...if I take sleeping pills.  I am beginning to feel like a junkie.

4.  I have to start chemotherapy.  Whoa!  I just dropped that bomb in there!  That's the way I roll here at Chez Murphy.  Dropping bombs.  And participles.

I was unprepared for that little snippet of news.  But, given my age (35) and what they now think is the size of my tumor (2.7 cm), chemo is a no-brainer.  It makes the chance of reoccurrence from being 37% to 13%.  And I'm here to tell you, I will do practically anything to avoid going through this again.

Because my good attitude?  Has practically dried up.  I admit it.  I am borderline surly now.  Thank goodness you only have to read my drivels, let alone sit in the same room as me whilst I stew on my immediate future.

Also, bonus!  I will lose my hair!

Yes, that was said with smidgens of surliness.  I admit it.  I've not come to grips with being bald.  Or being eyebrowless.  Or eyelashless.   Also, my spell checker thingy is hating me.

There is something very strange in knowing you're allowing literal poison into your body, which will kill all fast growing cells, all for the hope that if any remaining cancer lingers in some tiny corner or closet in my liver, it will be killed.  It's a very bizarre reality.

5. We had family here.  There were 12 peoples in my apartment.  I'm happy to say the floor remained intact and didn't cave in on the folks living downstairs.  We had a great time, driving through the national parks of The Coloradoes, eating at just about every restaurant here, watching the five Tim Hawkins videos my besties on FB sent me, to keep me from slitting a wrist whilst recovering from my copious surgeries.  They were excellent therapy.

6.  A squirrel ate my strawberry plant.  We'd only harvested 6 berries from it.  Which means I paid approximately $10 for 6 strawberries.  I pretty much hate any and all squirrels and wish for their immediate death.

7.  We saw Harry Potter.  My brain was mostly drug free and I didn't trip out, as opposed to seeing the new Transformers right after taking a narcotic.  THAT was a Woodstock experience, I'm pretty sure.  I kept staring at the screen and thinking, is this real?  Trippy.  But back to HP.  There was only one scene that bothered me, which I smugly turned to my Hubs and said haughtily, "THAT'S not in the book."  And he called me out on my book purist pride.  I don't care, I was busy eating my smuggled in Twizzlers.

8.  Someone turned up the thermostat outside.  Hence why I shall not be buying a wig.  It is dadgummed hot outside.

9.  IKEA opens in two days.  We are so there.  If nothing else but for the meatballs.  Because this sister is craving meat.

10.  I did my own laundry the other day.  It felt so normal.  To think I used to complain about doing laundry.  And tonight?  I shall cook my first meal in practically a month.  Normalcy feels very good.

Eat a popsicle for me, so I can feel cool.  Also, that is a double meaning.  Also, I'm pretty sure it's worthless as I had to explain it.  Alas.


w said...

if you lose your hair, remember what i'm going to get you. i'll give you a hint. it's the colorful flowery swim cap.

ps. the hint was a direct answer just in case the drugs are on.

From Tracie said...

I know good attitudes are wearing thin...but 13% is much better than 37%.

Book purists are awesome. (being a book purist myself, I'm not at all biased when I say that)

I'm skipping popsicles, but I will eat an ice cream bar.

Marisa Hopkins said...

I'm pretty sure death to squirrels is the best blog post tag EVER. I hate squirrels. Rats with fluffy tails - why do people like them? This makes no sense to me.

I'll eat an Otter Pop in your honor. The blue kind, which is Louie-Bloo Raspberry and delicious (but weirdly, they always make me cough. That must be my body reacting to the fact that I'm ingesting pure food dye and sugar *cringe*)

I love ya, Kears.

Heather Knighton said...

HANG IN THERE! It does get better....EVENTUALLY!

I happened upon your blog about 3 posts ago (LMM mention). And, I am so glad I did! Love your honesty and wit. My husband had/has cancer (when do they say you are really cured?) and finished up treatments in December. What a crazy ride. I truly believe humor and honesty were the best doses of medicine for him and us. Got us through.

On that note, be sure to tell your husband that "My wife has cancer" is a great way to get out of bringing something good to the work pot luck! Worked for me. :)

I will keep you in my prayers!

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Girlfriend, I love your lists. I might actually live for them. Adrain was sitting on the couch pretending not to listen to me read bits and pieces of it out loud, but there was an occasional chuckle, so I know he kind of lives for them too. (Don't worry, I gave him the guy-safe-edited version. Aka, no mention of boosies.)

Not that he'd have minded the mention. I mean he's not opposed to the mention of them. He likes them...

I have no idea where that was taking me. Probably nowhere good. And I'm not even taking trippy meds.

Lastly, (since I'm going for longest comment ever?) I didn't eat a popsickle. I ate a cupcake though. Does that count?

Anonymous said...

this is random, but what scene are you talking about? There was a small one I noticed and I'm wondering if it's the same...

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