Well, inquisitive reader, let me answer. I am a wife, a mom and I have chronic bad hair. I like made uppy words and Unnecessary Capitalization. If you know who the guy in the bottom right picture is, you're probably my best friend. Also, I own several Edward dolls which I write about HERE. No, I don't use drugs. By the way, if your love canned tomatoes, visit my stash HERE.
Every week I sit down and confess some things. Or when I go on vacation I just blindly ignore the fact that I even have a blog. It's a gauge to see just how much I'm missed by my masses. Thus far, no one has missed me. It seems I must tweak my experiment.
1. So. In case you forgot my name, since it's been so long since I jotted some randomness down on this cyber paper, it's Wanda. Actually, it's not really Wanda, but you'll never remember my name anyways. Or spell it. Or find it on a coffee mug. It's ok, I'm not crying or anything. Anymore.
2. I went to the Floridas. We had a family reuniony type get together to celebrate my Gma's 80th birthday. My sister and I were the only Eskimoey gals there. Which pretty much makes us rock stars.
3. Then I whisked myself away to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter to meet up with my buddies and pals, my cyber friends turned IRL friends, Winn, Vanessa and Carrie. Total blast. Except, have I mentioned that the heat index that day was 103? No? Well, let me just say, if you're at the WW of HP and are dying of heat, grab yourself a frozen butterbeer because it is AMAZEBALLS.
4. Also, should you be at the WW of HP and the heat index is OneThousandPlusDegrees outside, skip Olivander's Wand Shop. Just...trust me. Shop online for a wand should you feel the pressing need to own one. No line in the blistering heat is worth it unless I get to make out with something cold and frosty and maybe eat some cake at the end of the line. Which did not happen with Olivander's.
5. The rides? SO MUCH FUN. You know, one doesn't always know how one is going to behave on a fast ride. One might scream bloody murder, one might cry with fear, or one might laugh maniacally. I am the maniacally laughing one. Someone has to do it. I shall do it gladly.
6. Also, sit on your shoes in the Dragon Challenge. Also, just...trust me.
7. Confession: I did not go with my children and I am almost over the guilt. I went, childless, to play with my friends in a giant theme park. I know. It's ok to be jealous of me.
8. So when we came home, we began some family celebratory stuff with the Hubs, because he missed us and stuff. And so we let our kiddos pick out a movie. They chose Beezus and Ramona. And inside my head I was all, laaaaaame. I mean, I read the books and junk growing up but seriously, I thought the movie was going to be laaaaaame. Except, most of the way through the movie, me and the Hubs were laughing, OUT LOUD even, and fighting tears. I know. So dumb of us. We get it.
9. My Gma hates my dark purple nails. If I was really sweet, I would send her a bottle of dark purple nail polish for Christmas.
10. Tell me, please, all three of you who still read this, would you care to see me explain how to be a locker hooker? You won't need special fishnet tights or anything.
11. I really want some of my sister's french toast. Would anyone care to make me some? *crickets* Ok then.
12. Man. All this inactivity on my bloggage area is taxing my brain. Also, I kind of have to pee and I'm really hungry. Distracting.
13. Ramble ramble ramble.
14. Oh! Words for the wise, don't tell people you're trying to be a writer. Because this is what they'll do. *Blink blink blink nod look elsewhere uncomfortably* And you will go *awkward smile sniff armpit furrow brow in confusion crave cake* Seriously. Only tell your mom. Because your mom thinks you can do anything. Also, she lived through all your talk of being a scientist, living in Japan in a pagoda and driving a Rolls Royce without scoffing.
15. Also, I lived that dream until I discovered I sucked at all kinds of science. Alas.
16. But it was a definite improvement from wanting to be a professional ice skater with the nickname "Twinkletoes". Don't.ask.
17. I dreamed last night I was Lara Crofty running across tightwires and riding horses to safety, all while acting super confident and strutting all slender and lithe. You can imagine my disappointment upon waking.
18. But I'll bet Lara Croft can't locker hook. *crickets* Ok then.
19. Two words. Jamba Juice.
20. You raise your eyebrows questionably to Jamba Juice? It's almost as good as Butterbeer.