Ok. It's been ages and a decade since I last updated. Or, a month. I've been working like a crazy person both at my Mall Job and here at Chez Murphy, where dirty underwears never go away and sewing projects heap up begging for attention. So sadly, you readery peeps don't get to know what's going on with me. I know you're crying.
So what's happening, you ask? Surgery tomorrow morning! This surgery is called an exchange surgery where I'm swapping out my coconutty expanders for perky and plush silicone implants. Also, is it weird to anyone else that I just oh, so casually talk about boosies like it's the weather? Hmm. Anyhow, I'm told by my nurse that I'll feel heaps better after this surgery and be much more comfortable. What I was most excited about was buying a normal bra straight off the rack. I'm practically normal.
Even more normal, my hairs are growing back. It looks like my head is covered in black duck fuzz. Also, I had to shave my legs and pits again for the first time in eons. Sadly, I know that the novelty will wear off this current excitement and I'll again join the ranks of the complaining female masses in regards to shaving woes. And the metrosexual peeps, too.
So, physically, I'm doing well. I'm healing up from all the chemo biz, my poison has waned, I feel like myself again.
Intellectually, I feel like the chemo brain blanket that covered my brain synaptic powers is now gone, so I can think again and don't stand there drooling whilst staring off into oblivion.
Emotionally, well, I had a rough few weeks where I finally let all of my circumstances cascade down and I really felt them. It sucked. But, I am so grateful to the peeps around me who just sat there and let me go on and on about how lame and lousy things were and just nodded sagely when I said I was in a foul mood. One friend even was like, "Well it's about time". And I was like, huh, you're right. I think I kept a smile on my face just so I could survive all these crazy last few months without going bonkers. Anyways, now I feel fine.
Spiritually, me and Jesus are BFFs. So. All is good there.
And that's it, folks. Since June, I've been sliced open and drugged and poked and prodded and bandaged and poisoned and encouraged and lectured and scared and hugged and loved on and dealt with this crazy thing called cancer. It's been a hard but fast ride. It's been scary. It's been life changing. I have scars that will never fade. Some veins are shot for good. But, I'm here. I'm typing this cheesy post with working limbs and a brain and pizza in my belly. My kids came out of this ok, with helpful teachers and family members who talked to them when they needed it. My Hubs has coworkers and friends who have checked in with him and let him know we're being thought about.
We made it.
Did I do what I said I would do in June? Did I "kick cancer's ass"? Well, maybe for now. Cancer is a bully, who might come back to push me around again. My prayer is that all those pink ribbons out there and all those giving folks and all those brilliant scientists and all those cancer foundations find the answer and cure for this scary disease.
I pray that more women kick this straight in the derriere. That more women will do self breast exams and screenings. That more women will take the reins in regards to their own health and not wait for something bad to happen. That more women will be proactive and learn what they can about how to prevent this from happening to them. And, I pray that once women find themselves a victim of this horrid disease, for a good medical team, for strong supporting community to surround them, for financial blessings to pour in. For strong families to bind themselves to these women, to hug when they need a hug, to listen when they need to listen, to do when they need to do.
Because, that's what I had this year, and I seriously do not know what I would have done if I hadn't have had that.
I am truly grateful. I am humbled. I am amazed.
So. Tomorrow. New boosies. Growing hair. Leftover birthday cake.
It'll be a good day.
Playing with Water Wubble
5 hours ago