Keyboard Nonsense

Once upon a time, I used to write these lists.  Sometimes they were confessions, mostly they were just inane nonsense.

1.  We put the comforter in our duvet.  So, clearly we are ready for fall.  Us + squishy duvet = like being in the womb again.

2.  I've decided I'm tired of pumpkiny things.  I know, that's practically blasphemous as I just said we are ready for fall.  Me + pumpkiny things = overrated, like the Twilight books.

3.  I'm almost done with the X Files.  Mulder is gone now, idk where he went except I miss his nose and those steamy bedroom eyes he's always making at Scully.  Mulder + Scully = should just get married already.

4.  Quite frankly, I'm tired of watching the X Files, but I'm sticking with it because I will be disappointed with myself for giving up on the last season.  Also, it's quite possible my life is utterly boring and meaningless when I'm not gainfully employed.  Me + no job = Netflix watching blob snuggled under the duvet.

5.  I've learned that my children are complete opposites whilst homeschooling.  For instance, we wrote a letter to a pen pal recently and it went something like this:

Emma:  How little can I write and it still be a letter?  What if I just draw a really big picture of a key at the bottom? 

Addie:  Do you think these five pages are enough?  Gosh, I should add another page, there's nineteen more questions I want to ask.  Do you think this girl will be my best friend?  

End scene.  Emma + school work = meh.  Addie + school work = asks for extra assignments.

6.  Also, one day I had them write haikus.  They thought it was the most pointless exercise in the world.  Clearly they are not my children.  Haikus + my kids = alien language.  Kearsie + haikus = daily talk.

7.  Today in school, we will watch the old cartoony version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  Because I just read it aloud to them.  And we're about to finish The Secret Garden, so we'll watch that, too.  School + movies = awesomeness with a side of amazing.

8.  I found all my Edward dolls yesterday.  And inspiration struck, yet I just couldn't bring myself to bust out the camera and blog the inspiration.  Inspiration + laziness = blog death.

9.  I tried to help my nephew with Algebra II a week ago.  Which pretty much meant I looked at his homework, let my eyes glaze over and then I pointed him toward youtube, where you can find anything.  Kearsie + maths = it's not like riding a bike.  

10.  Man.  This duvet is so comfy.  It's really hard to bring myself to get out of bed.   Duvet + comforter = bed glue.

10-11-12

That is today's date.  You're welcome for pointing out the obvious.  I aim to be helpful.

For fun, here are 12 random things, for your eyeballs' enjoyment.  Eyeball's?  Eyeballs's?  Whatever.

1.  If I'm really lucky, my daughter will break ALL my dishes.

2.  Today I discovered that a butternut squash smells just like a watermelon on the inside.

3.  Just down the road from Chez Murphy is a gourmet cupcake shop.  Not good, people.  Not good.

4.  It is not lost on me that the words "milkshake" and "mistake" are similar.  Yes they are.  And thus, I had a mistake.  This is recycled from my fb.  I am a responsible recycler.

5.  I look more and more Hobbity as the days pass.  Soon, I shall make my trek to Mordor, in search of reliable hair care products.

6.  For Christmas, I made some really awesome things for certain folks for gifts.  But guess what?  I can't tell you because some people reading this will be like, Ooh!  That's for me!  And then when Christmas rolls around they will get something like a knitted scarf and be like, this is lame.

7.  So I'll tell you alllll about it in January.

8.  For reason undetected, I began watching the X Files on Netflix.  All nine hundred bajillion seasons.  I'm on season 7 now and all I can think is, will you two just kiss already?  Geez.

9.  Also, I'm fairly certain that watching the X Files is really just a documentary on the evolution of the cell phone.

10.  Also, I'm fairly certain you could make watching the X Files a drinking game.  Take a drink whenever Scully asks "You ok, Mulder?" Take another drink every time Mulder uses the words "X File" or "paranormal".  I could go on.  But I shall not.

11.  I sure am glad I chose to homeschool my two children.  That way, I get to listen to them fight all day long, as opposed to just the evening.  This was also a recycled fb status.

12.  I do like being a responsible recycler.

Ch-ch-ch-chia!

Normally I eschew the front side of the camera, but today I asked my awesome Hubs to snap a quick pic of me so you fine readers can see the difference a year makes.  Also, I was a wee bit proud that I could finally fit into this shirt again.  So clearly I had to document it.

Today my Hubs called me sexy, so, I must've stopped looking like Screech from Saved By the Bell.

Rock on.

Once upon a time...

...there lived a girl with responsibilities.  Laundry to wash.  Floors to mop.  Fresh veggies to chop for that night's supper. 

And then she was introduced to Doctor Who.  

And she could've cared less about laundry, mopping or fresh veggies.  

Excuse me whilst I head back to Netflix.  

Reporting live from Durham, NC

WHAAAAAAT?

You heard me, folks!  Assuming there are plural amounts of people reading this!

We are now living in the Carolinas.  Specifically of the Northern variety.  Also, I haven't had to use a switchblade yet living here in Durham.  So.

Let me back up a bit.  *insert loud beeping sound reminiscent of large trucks in reverse*

See, the Hubs and I were discussing life and such in late March.  And we decided that our time in the Colorados was at an end and that my Hubs' brain needed more info to cram into it and such.  And that we should move back to the area with which his scholastic career began- er, continued, which is here in NC.  He will pursue his PhD and such.  So we began the process of sifting through the earthly possessions we, erm, possessed, and gave away/got rid of/burned in a bonfire of magnificent proportions most of those aforesaid earthly possessions.  Also, the aforementioned bonfire did not, in fact, exist.  Except in my mind.  For I think that arson would've made this whole packing thing way easier.

We purged.  Not that kind of purging.  The Hoarders kind.  It was tough.  It was cleansing.  I even gave away the first blanket I ever made my daughter.  We also donated an entire trunkful of books to the Human Society thrift store.  I think they shed a tear or two.

It was tough.  Yet we pressed on, and packed many a box of books and clothing and myriads of stuffed animals that my daughters could not part with.  And we shoved all those aforesaid boxes into a small Uhaul and we began the trek across country to our future home in NC.

Perhaps I should mention that we had not exactly found a place to live yet.  Because we are Chez Murphy and that's how we roll.  But my sister in law kindly opened her home to us and after three var var longish days of sitting behind the wheel of my car, staring at the back of Lance's Uhaul, singing each and every song listed in my iPrecious, we found our way here.

Might I also just mention that I have clown hair here in the NC?  Yes.  I am considering dying it so that I have a polka dot afro.  I feel it is culturally relevant to our times.   I had forgotten about the humidity here.

And so, after a brief beach interlude with our entire family, we trekked back to Durham and hobbled and minced our way to many apartment homes (hobbling and mincing because of a dreadful sunburn), and finally, we found our home.  It is a town home.  And while some areas smell suspiciously of cat pee, we have deposited our meager possessions and spread them around.

Then we went to IKEA.

That is a post all by itself.

My entryway is littered with piles of cardboard.

I think I shall stop there.  For now.

*Shakes dust off my blog*

Let us see.  What all has happened since we last chatted?  Let me make a list.

1.  I finished my breast reconstruction.  Yay!  No more visits to the plastic surgeon!  I'm all done!  Also, they told me I'd be all best buddies with them by the end of this process and you know what?  They were right.

2.  What was the final step, you ask?  Tattoos.  Strategically placed tattoos.  Also, I trolled the googles for an image of nipples on a Barbie.  I had to bleach my eyes.  I might never recover.  You'll just have to imagine it, kind reader.  Also, I begged her for stars.  Nay.  Just regular circles.

3.  In preparations for these certain tattoos, I decided on a huge life changing decision.  And that was...to get a real tattoo first.

4.  Therefore, it was on Sunday I went to my local tattoo parlor (that was highly recommended) and was inked by a young artist.  And it is thus:

5.  It's little pieces of dandelion fluff, in case you're looking at saying "Huh?"

6.  No, it did not hurt.

7.  So, that was on Sunday.  Then Monday I got my other two tattoos.  I feel pretty bada$$.  But not bada$$ enough to type bada$$ without the $$.

8.  My hair?  Today I look like Richard Simmons.  Like this:

9.  Not even kidding.  I might have to start looking for some Afrosheen.  And a pick.

10.  I am now home with my kiddos for the summer.   Guess what?  I don't do much here except read and wash the occasional underwears.  I accept my laziness and embrace it.  *yawn*

11.  Also, it's good to make children work, no?  Also, please tell me I didn't complain as much as they do when I was their age.

12.  I am purging my home.  And when I am done, I shall burn give away or sell the pile.  Also, I think arson is a perfectly acceptable choice.

13.  Also, I am going to place some of my large furniture items on Craigslist.  Here's hoping no pervy or weird people respond.  I already get enough Viagra spam in my inbox as it is.

14.  I gave up on my Pinterest challenge.  Perhaps I should shake the dust off my boards and find more things to accomplish over this long and lazy summer.

15.  My children have taken ink pens to their body and drawn themselves tattoos.  Also, they are planning on what to get the second they turn 18.  What have I done?

16.  I am reaaaaally considering sewing like mad this summer and selling my wares.  I mean. there's already nine hundred million people selling felty foods on Etsy, so why not join the party?  Also, I do custom orders, should browsing turn to buying.

17.  I think I need to watch Notting Hill again.

18.  I wonder how many episodes of Disney channel series will my children force me to watch/listen to this summer.

19.  Is it too late to learn how to drink?

20.  Just kidding.  Sort of.

Happy...what day is today?

Update on cancer and such

Ok.  So it's been quite awhile since I shared what's the haps with my cancer and surgeries and junk.  Well, let me make amends.  Also, I must warn you that I will say quasi naughty words.  Like nipples.  Be prepared.  Also, don't look at me, it's embarrassing.

Well my chemo ended in October.  They tell me that it takes several months for chemo to work its way out of your system so therefore, it's only been since this month that I'm probably done with having affects of chemo.  I'm not going to lie, they were no fun.  When your body is poisoned from the inside out, lots of things go to pot.  But cool things are happening.  Like, my hair is growing and my nails don't look all weird and ridgy and junk.

I had implants put in at the end of November.  They were SO MUCH STINKING BETTER THAN EXPANDERS.  Seriously.  It's like my boosies are breathing sighs of relief.  I'm all nice and healed up and feeling quite perky.  The Hubs is a fan.

So the next step:  to get *whispers* nipples.  I know.  So risqué.  Now.  Let me tell you, this part is optional.  I mean, really, having boosies period was optional.  But this is super optional.  So I'll go in next month for a little outpatient thingy where my awesome plastic surgeon will work his magic and create wee nipples for me.  I've no idea how he'll do it and quite frankly, I hope I don't have to watch.  He says he'll do something to do with cutting a bird shape and origami and...whatever.  I've no idea what he means.  I just know I'll wind up with nipples.

Also, I'll keep being poked and prodded and tested and such for any markers that indicate cancers anywhere else in my body.  It's weird, people.  It's like, my body has so many hiding places, you know?  Like, there could be something evil lurking in my liver, or hiding behind my ovaries.  It's like, a really really lame game of hide and seek.

At least, this is what I think about in my dark moments.

But mostly, I am full of the positivity.  Who knew that deep down I was an optimist?  Also, that will probably change.  (hahahaah did you get that?  What I just did there?  hahaahahaha well if I have to explain it to you then it loses it's meaning.  So.)

Another awesome thing happened.  I got a new job.  I was at my cancer center for an appointment in January and boom.  The next thing I know, I am working there!  I'm a Document Control Tech, Sr. which is a super fancy name for scanner.  That's right.  I get paid to stand at a copier and scan in gobs of papers.  I like it.  It's fun.  I mean, aside from all the cancer surrounding me and such.

I should probably explain a little tho.  I get weird looks and some outright straight forward questions when I talk about working at the facility where I go for treatment of cancer.  And you know?  I really can't explain it all that well.  It's a great environment.  I work for a company that works very very hard at making their patients feel at home and safe and comfortable.  It's filled with compassion and empathy and kindness.  Why would I not want to work there?

I did have a wee moment of ohmyGodgetmeoutofhere the other day when I happened into the infusion room where I used to get my chemo treatments.  See, that's where the really good ice machine is.  And so, I was filling my Tervis Tumbler full of crunchy ice when I heard some beeps coming from an infusion machine and it was like I couldn't get out of there fast enough.  And, I'm not gonna lie.  It'll be so bizarre when I come across my own medical record whilst I'm filing paperwork.  But, I'm a big girl and I can handle it.  So there.

So that's what's up.  I'm well.  I'm healing.  I'm growing hair like a Chia Head.  I'm scanning for money.

Happy Wednesday.